When the press release hit the wires that Forbidden Broadway was on its way back to Off Broadway, I felt like one of my class clown high school buddies was moving in to the apartment next door.
New York and certainly Off Broadway hasn’t felt the same since the ol’ FB closed up shop back in ‘09. Thankfully, it was only a hiatus, and the super skilled satirist Gerard Alessandrini has taken the last few years, and like a squirrel storing nuts for the winter, has been stock piling parodies from the past several Broadway seasons.
I can’t wait to see him skewer Ghost, Mormon and of course, Spider-Man.
And one of you is going to see it for free!
Here’s how to win your tickets to the new Off-Broadway production of Forbidden Broadway:
Come up with a Forbidden Broadway-like title for any musical out there. For example, Anything Blows . . . or How To Succeed on Broadway with Harry Potter.
Get the idea?
Parody away!
(Got a comment? I love ‘em, so comment below! Email subscribers, click here then scroll down, to say what’s on your mind!)
——
FUN STUFF:
- Collaborator Speed Date – Back to School Edition on 9/6 at 6:30PM! Click here to register.
- The Davenport Supper Club: Musical Theatre Workshop – Every other Tuesday beginning 10/2 at 5:30PM! Click here to register.
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I would love to see Forbidden Broadway!! Have always wanted to
…so here goes:
Once…Twice, Three Times a Tony
or
Hello Folly!
or
Next to Not-Quite-Normal
This might be too obvious, but Cyra-nose de Bergerac.
Was Crouch of Ages done, if so, Dare (to Bare) the Musical
I love Forbidden Broadway! I went on a whim a few years back, we couldn’t stop laughing and went back a year later. I can’t wait for this new installment!
Once (is enough)
Spiderman: Fall Off the Stage
Don’t Bring it On
Raggedy Annie
Snook of Mormon – Can a Jersey Shore girl
find happiness as wife
number four?
Priscilla Queen of the Dessert! Cherry Poppins. The Breast Man. Overbooked of Mormon. Newbies, the musical. In the Woods
The Worst Man, The Small Knife, A Friend of the People, Silver Boy, Man oh Man! (parody of Mama Mia), Not Really Wicked
Chap’s Lame
A Christmas Movie: Turned Musical!
Tired Show If You Can Stand It
America’s Idiot: (Insert relevant politician here)
little s*** of happenis (little shop of horrs)
I was (still am) obsessed with Forbidden Broadway growing up and wrote my own parody to “The Brothers Come to Egypt” section from Act 2 of Joseph and the Amazing Techicolor Dreamcoat. I never saw the Broadway production so certainly some of my assumptions were never corroborated. But here, in its first public performance, are those lyrics. I suppose it would help if you knew the tune:
Narrator
So. Back on Broadway the future looked rough.
Michael Damian was finding it tough.
Michael
For the soaps always gave me such rave reviews
That now I’m on stage, all I get is ‘boo’s’
It’s enough I don’t get sold out crowds,
But their moans and their groans are too loud.
I will die if I have to stay here.
But back on “Restless” I’ll have a career.
I’ll get married, have a kid and live in despair,
And if I have the time I can have an affair!
Narrator
So he finally decided to go,
Back to “Restless” to be on the show.
So he went straight to Andrew Lloyd Webber
Michael
Mighty boss, I need something that’s better.
Narrator
Andy liked what he heard, it was much too hard,
So he said
Andrew Lloyd Webber
I will bring Sunset Boulevard
Narrator
Opening night the Minskoff was morose
That they had to see the show with Glenn Close.
an enemy of the profits
Nice Part if You Can Get It
Spiderman, turn off the show
Don’t cry for me, Ricky Martin
Hello, Patti!
One Man, Two Roles
Peter and the Tony-catcher
The Book of More Men
Lower East Side Jewish Immigrant Story
The Lying King
How to Succeed in Business Even Though You Are a Democrat
Annie Get Your 5% Senior Discount
Craplin!
HA!
EVITA-LOCA
Rock of the Aged
Twice
Orgy and Bess
Gayvita!
The Gershwins’ Pippin
HA!
Sister Crap
Snewsies
The Book of Doormen
Once…Is Not Enough
Rot of Aegis
Central Park
Book of Morons
Curse of Spider-man
All the Way from Memphis
Priscilla, King of Queens
Sister Can’t Act
The Warners’ Porky and Bugs
War Whores
Arbuckle!
Nice Work If You Can Find It!
Chumplin – How to fool the audience with a paint-by-numbers bio
Velvita – Cheesy Che’s newest recipe for a cheesy smile
If Jake’s There, Has Anybody Found Him? – Where are the crowds waiting for Mr. Gyllenhaal? Not at the Pels
Not for RENT
Wildhorn Party
Lipsinked Mia
Lame (based off of Mame)
Sondheim on Andrew Lloyd Weber
Brigadoom
Annie’s Too Young to Get a Gun
Opera and BessAudra
Music of the Shite
Phantom of the Lyceum
Nice Spoof If You Can Get It
Parody on the Roof
Catch it While You Can (it won’t be here for long…)
FOLLIES IN THE WOODS
TWO SUB-MEDIOCRE REVIVALS
T O G E T H E R AT LAST!
Annie get your Book of Jersey Boys on avenue Q
PUSSIES
TWO GENTLEMAN OF VERONA, NEW JERSEY
Avenue Screw
Spiderman- Who Has the Super Glue!
Once More
Don’t Dress for Lunch
Jersey Girls
Getting Wicked With Megan Hilty
On A Clear Day You Can See Russia
Twice Upon a Waterbed
Spermalot
Schmaltz (Grease)
The M***** F***** with the Mask (final entry in Phantom trilogy)
Love Never Arrives
Fail-a
13…week run
Producers on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown
The M***** F***** with the Mask (final entry in Phantom trilogy)
That’s genius!
Sunday In The Alley with Ally
Snoozies
Nice part if you can get it (Nice work if you can get it)
Once more…with even less feeling (Once)
Scary Poppins (Mary Poppins)
Sister can’t act (Sister Act)
Legally Blind (Legally Blonde)
No Good Notes (Wicked)
South Pathetic
Once and a half
Nice Work if You Can Stand It
One Man….Two Naps
Porgy and Sondheim
The Wizard of Osnes
Bear. A group of hefty, hairy, hippie dudes bring back the counterculture. Their take on Black Boys/White Boys is not to be missed.
Mucous Man
Camelsnot
Caroulsmell
Hello Dali
The Book of More-Men
The Lying King: The Paul Ryan Story
Into the Woodstock
Priscilla: Lost Queens in the Desert
The 2nd Best Man, b-list celebrities choose to replace a star in a part in a Broadway ensemble over a reality show comeback! This can also be a parody/tribute to Fran and Barry!
Next to Norma Desmond
The Book of Moron
Porgy & Bass
Spider-Man
Turn up the insurance
Turn off the Taymor
Turn in a profit?
The Worst Time
Annie Awakening
Spiderman: Don’t Turn on the Lights
Spiderman: We can’t afford to Turn Off the Dark
Awesome 80′s Bong
The Phantom of the Wicked Sister Act on Avenue Q
NewCheese!
Ace Young Frankenstein
Shrek the Drule-sickle
[Title of Show Where if You Take Pictures the Actors Stop the Show to Yell at You]
A Taurus Line: What I did for Astrology
Newsies and Bess
Eva Poppins
War Dog (starring Sandy)
Any Work if You Can Get It
Silence the Musical!
Snacktime, the Musical
Class warfare erupts on Broadway as The Food Network and it’s hottest stars sing their classics. Hear Pat and Gina Neely dream up the perfect dessert in “Cookies and Cream,” Paula Dean learns that once she’s added butter and oil she’ll always be “Fat Like Before,” Gordon Ramsey and Mario Battali sing “Our Franchise,” and Jamie Oliver in a star turn discovers that his life’s mission is to make the perfect souffle in “Whisk the Eggwhites”
Rock of Agéd
Jersey Shore Boys
The Fanta-stucks
Spring Oi Veykening
I can’t win the tickets, I have no way of getting up to NYC…but I still wanted to make up a Forbidden Broadway parody:
The Last 5 Queers
See This!
I fell in love with many stars based on the parodies presented in the FB recordings of the parodies of them. In Podunk, Kentucky what else is one to do.
Then I actually SAW it…in 2005…and…well…that’s the most perfect title it can ever have:
SEE THIS!
(Also, I love this blog. Thank you for offering so much up, so often.)
RATS
New York’s best loved animal musical: the stench will live on!
Bloody Bloody Michael Jackson, this Prez is a Thriller!
“Once,” Twice, 3 times ain’t the Charm
Spider-Man, Turn yourself in to the Creative Police Julie Taymor
Wicked Awesome (Elphaba goes to Boston)
Jersey Noize, Falsettos identifying as Males
Monty Python’s CRAP-ALOT (cause Yanks will by anything the Brits are selling)
“13: Abort Abort” (at least a dozen new reasons to legalize retroactive abortion)
LES JIZZ-ERABLES, Jean “Foot-long” Valjean arrested for boning a loaf of French Bread
‘A Little Night Mu-zzzzzz…’ (has to skewer CZJ as my doze-filled experience is based on her performance, not necessarily the show itself…well, not entirely).
Thank goodness FB is back!
Caterpillars… it would be just like Cats only they would all turn into butterflies at the end.
Pittsburgh… like Chicago only everyone would be dead by the second act from all the soot which would be sprinkling down continuously…
Eviction. Actually, maybe Andrew Lloyd Webber could take over for Jonathan Larson and write the score. He’d do what he does best… recycle the same music. It might go something like “Ev-iction, Ev-iction…” (you know, instead of “Evita, Evita?”)
also, unrelated, but you know what should become a musical? Frasier! No, really! All the actors could play themselves! Kelsey Grammer, David Hyde Pierce, Jane Leeves,Bebe Neuwirth…
Sunday in the Park to Gorge
How about God Grammar?
The Book of Sperm Man=too many dates listed in the little black book and way too much procreation
Ugly and the Feast=he won’t get far after he feeds the ladies
The King and Spy=a really paranoid royal
A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Bathroom= sad tails after Montezuma’s revenge
The Scarlet Pimple Nell! =a visit to the dermatologist is needed before life’s big events
J C Hell and Hide = believers know damnation is imminent or can you escape?
Cab-a-Way = adventures of rich kids on the run
Annie Get Your Sun= poor girl falls ill to melanoma after years of overexposure
The Full Man Tea= a sold out mid day singles mixer for guys who love guys
The Producers =a sequel to Soylent Green is the story of forced population explosion and the food chain solution needed after the Republican reversal of “Roe V Wade’
Avenue A = puppet gangs on death row in Alcatraz
Spring of Quakening =the Yellowstone caldera blows on the ides of March
Merry Pop-Ins =Clowns that visit the hospitalized ill
Candide-a= a visit to the gynecologist is urgent
Porky & Bess: Porky Pig falls in love w/ Bess. T-t-t-th’at’s my girl!
Astoria! The Musical (insert any NYC based musical about struggling artists) (to the tune of the Saved by the Bell theme song)
When I wake up in the morning
And the ‘larm gives out a warning
I don’t think I’ll ever make the subway
I go take my keys, hit my head on the ceiling when I sneeze,
I’m at the subway just in time to see it fly by
It’s alright’cause I live on Broadway (in a whisper) – IN Astoria
If I get the cat’ring call,
There’s someone banging on the wall,
And I can’t find my contacts anywhere,
Gonna be a glasses day,
Cause I really need to get paid,
If I can land a great audition, it’ll be all right!
It’s alright, ”cause I live on Broadway (in Astoria) (4x)
“Not Necessarily the Newsies”
Mitt Romney in THE LYIN KING
Not since CHAPLIN ! It’s ARBUCKLE !
FOX NEWSIES ! Ignore those other Liberal musicals…
PHANTOM OF THE GRAND OL OPRY
Rebecca Luker is REBECCA !
PAPPA PIA! The sequel..
SERIAL DE BERGERAC -the new psycho musical…
THE SECOND BEST MAN
GLENGARRY GLENN GOULD
THE HAIRLESS
NICE TICKETS IF YOU CAN GET THEM
PETER & THE STARSTALKER
ROCK OF THE MIDDLE AGES
SPIDERMAN TURN OFF THE SHOW
MAKE LOVE NOT WARHORSE
JEKYLL & HYDE-AGAIN?
ONCE-TWICE-THREE TIMES A LADY
KINKY BOOTS AND OVERPRICED SNEAKERS
Into the Hoods
Anesthesia (Anastasia the Musical
)
Get it Up (Bring it On)
or Into the Blue Box – a Doctor Who Musical! Come on that would sell to the Comic Con crowd like crazy! The word Blue is optional because Into the Box sounds funny too though maybe too generic. People do use boxes for many hilarious purposes (Ex: Calvin and Hobbes and their transmogrifier)
Fly Me A Web Cam: a wing-shredded escapee’s secret video story of prisoner abuse within the silky labyrinth
Spy Fly: the untold story of an escapee’s view from the web
Fly Boy: Life as an Arachnid-toy in the web
In the Tights!
The Best Tranny
Who’s Afraid of Another Revival?
Peter and the Starf*cker
Not-So-Kinky Crocs
Motown: Dreamgirls 2, Electric Boogaloo
This is a fake musical lol.
‘Precious the musical, based on the movie Precious, based on the novel Push by Sapphire.’
Buy, Don’t RENT: The New York Real Estate Musical
The Book of Morgan Stanley and Other Tales of the Great Recession
Into the Foods: The Catering Musical
Fannie: A Little Girl’s Second Career as a Stripper
Milwaukee: More Fun Than CHICAGO!
The Book of Romney
The Smashed Menagerie
Everything Goes!
Disgrace
The Best Mensch
Avenue X
Spiderman: Turn Off the Sound!
Floozys
West Side Storybook
Into the Park
One Man, Too Many Sandwiches in the Audience
The Book of Morons
Nice Work for Ferris Bueller
The Mystery in Edwin’s Food
Nice Work if You Could Sing/Dance/Act It
A TOURIST LINE
Book of Mormon –> Missionary Impossible
Anything Goes! –> Try It, You’ll Like It!
Ghost –> SoulMan
Dr.Heckle and Mr.Jibe
Newsies! Bring it on into the woods Maybe Rebecca will finally show up.
Flautist in the Basement
Me and My Whore
Dick and Dora
Gagtime- the bullimia musical
Sugardaddies
Neussical- the suicide musical
Flosse- in the style of Bob Flosse
Anita- Evita’s half sister
Granny Chew Your Gum
Stephen Sondheim’s Porgy’s a Mess
1. Everything’s Closed (Anything Goes)
~
2. Spiderman: Turn off the Sound
~
3. It’s Jekyll, So HIDE (or It’s Jekyll, GO HIDE)
~
4. Lend Me A Monk (Loved Tony Shalhoub in LMAT!)
~
5. Twice (Once) or “Uno” (the Latino version)
~
6. On a Clear Day, Even Harry Connick, Jr. Couldn’t Save this Show!
~
or… On a Clear Day, You’ll RUN From This Show!
oops.. 2 more
~
7. Bye Bye Stamos
~
8. Promises, Shamises
A LITTLE WHITE MUSIC
NOOB’s (Newsies): the Musical
The Sound of Disney
Blunderland and other Flops
Songs: You CAN’T Succeed on Broadway If You Haven’t Harry Potter. (playing off of SPAMALOT’s “You can’t Succeed…haven’t any Jews)
Winter Hibernation (Spring Awakening)
Bells Are Ringing (Rusty Chimes)
The Drowsy Chaperone (You’re On Your Own)
Fiddler in the living room
Twice (Parody of Once)
Mike Tyson: Can I have an ear?
AN UNEMPLOYMENT LINE
ALL HOOKED UP
THE PUN ALSO RISES
FIDDLER MADE A GOOF
“Naked Boys Swinging”
Based on Diva’s Lament from Spamalot –
“Theatregoers Lament – Whatever Happened to Good Shows” or “why do all the good shows close so fast and all we are left with is Phantom, Mama Mia and Spiderman”
Sheryl
DERSHOWITZ’S PORGY & BESS
SONDHEIM’S POOR GUY AT BEST
NICE JERK IF YOU CAN GET HIM
WILTED
ODDSPELLL
HEAP OF STEAMIN’ FAITH PILES
Spiderman: Turns off the Audience.
The Book of Romney.
Barrack Obama Superstar.
Once (more).
Sounding Badly (parody of Falling Slowly).
We’re So Gay (parody of Seize the Day).
Carrying the Ballot (parody of Carrying the Banner).