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Virginity draws cheers

Keith Deltano's message about virginity and the risks of teenage sex drew cheers, laughs and gasps Wednesday among Thornton Fractional North High School freshmen and sophomores.

"You never see anyone sing about pregnancy or rap about changing a diaper," the educational comedian said in regards to teens getting the truth about sex from TV or magazines.

Deltano, who is based in North Carolina, talked to students about diseases that can be contracted even when a condom is used, and the differences between failure rate in a one-time clinical setting and in real life. Teens never think it can happen to them, he said, but a 90 percent accuracy rate on a test for English class is not the same as a 90 percent reduced risk of contracting a disease.

To illustrate, a volunteer lied on a table as Deltano held a cinder block over the student's midsection.

Deltano asked the volunteer to pick a number, and if an audience member picked the same one, the comedian would drop the cinder block.

Freshman Tanisha Jones said the demonstration was a good way to illustrate what Deltano was trying to say.

"Most people don't listen to percentages," she said, adding that having a comedian come to the school was more fun than "being lectured all the time."

Deltano, who also spoke to seniors and juniors at a separate assembly, and conducted a parent workshop in the evening, said he wasn't trying to say that sex is bad or shameful, but that teenagers should wait until they can handle the risks and responsibilities that come along with it.

"Sex is a good thing when you have an education, when you've got a job, when you've moved out of Ma's house," he said, adding those who are sexually active should talk to their school nurse and parents and get tested.

Freshman Darious Cosby found Deltano's message "inspiring."

"I've been doing the right thing," he said. "I don't got nothing to worry about. But he gave me the head's up on what I should be doing in the future, to be calm about it and just have patience."

'Technical virginity' becomes part of teens' equation

Ten years after Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinsky's relationship made oral sex a mainstream topic, there's still plenty of debate over whether oral sex is really sex.

"There's not only confusion; there's fighting over it," says J. Dennis Fortenberry, a physician who specializes in adolescent medicine at the Indiana University School of Medicine. "People disagree fairly vehemently."

The latest fuss is spurred by new federal data that found that more than half of 15- to 19-year-olds have received or given oral sex. Although the study by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention did not ask the particulars of these encounters, research conducted in pre-Clinton times, along with more recent studies, suggests that teens largely fall on the "it's not sex" side. (Related story: Teens define sex in new ways)

"Some adults say it is a form of sex, but kids don't really see it that way," says Natalie Fuller, 19, a sophomore at Orange Coast College in Costa Mesa, Calif.

"For most teens, the only form of sex is penetration, and anything else doesn't count. You can have oral sex and be a virgin."

Fuller was 16 when she, her brother and her mother co-wrote the book Promise You Won't Freak Out, which includes discussion of teen oral sex.

The report released last month by the CDC shows that one-quarter of teens who have not had intercourse have had oral sex. The survey questions, administered via headphones and computer for maximum anonymity, clearly defined the actions to eliminate any ambiguity about the meaning of the term "oral sex."

"The implications are that teens who define themselves as abstinent may be engaging in oral sex," says Jennifer Manlove, a senior research associate with the non-profit group Child Trends, which analyzed the federal data.

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Clay Aiken Is Still a Virgin

He may not be as pure as a daisy, but Clay has never experienced the love of a woman….or man.

He candidly told New York Magazine about his lack of sex drive, preference of dogs over humans and lack of time to devote to human contact.

“[Clay] imagines his social life here will be “nonexistent, really. I’m not a nighttime person.” He does not plan on dating, and he is not involved with anyone. “Heck, no,” he says. “My dogs.” He has never had a romantic relationship with anyone, unless you count the girls he took to dances back in high school in Raleigh. “I just don’t have an interest in … any of that at all. I have got too much on my plate,” he says. “I’d rather focus on one thing and do that when I can devote time to it, and right now, I just don’t have any desire.” But Aiken is 29 years old and he is also a human. Surely he must have needs. Urges. He contemplates this in silence for 20 or 30 seconds. “Ah think maybe I don’t! I mean, not really. I’ve just kind of shut it off, maybe. Is that bad?”

OH, my virgin eyes!

from Renee

For my first (and only) trick, I will attempt to categorize 3 types of virgins and provide them with 3 useful products. Here we go!

The "Can't Get Some to Save His/Her Life" virgin.
I have been friends with plenty of these and found that eventually, things did work out for them. So, if you find yourself in this category, fear not, your time will come.

 

1. The E-Pen (TM) Hair Removal Gadget.  Lets face it, no one wants to sleep with a person with weird hairs growing out of their <insert body part here> is that what she said?
2. D&E Pharmaceuticals Body Odor Blocker. I'm not saying you do, but you very well MIGHT smell. Trust me, that's more of a turn off than that uni-brow you're sporting. Try these, they might help.
3. 1968 Chevrolet Camaro Convertible.  This works 98% of the time.  I promise.  I can't think of a single soul who could resist this. 

 

The "Saving Yourself until Mariage" virgin.
I totally respect your decision.  And that's all I have to say about that.

 

1. The Holy Bible.  uhm...because this is usually the gasoline to their gas tank.  You can never have too many copies.
2. Cross Timbers Twin Bed Set.  I think it's safe to remove the option of having someone else in bed with you.  Remove all temptation.
3. Deluxe Chastity Belt.  Are you THIS hardcore?  No?  Well then, you're not devoted enough.

 

The "Forget this, it's happening TONIGHT" virgin.
YEAH!  I'm super psyched for you! Go get 'em Tiger. 

 

1. Em and lo's Rec Sex : An A-Z Guide to Hooking Up.  Most of the good stuff is in section X.
2. Condoms.  Be safe not sorry.
3. Premium Travel Toothbrush. Generally a good thing to carry around all of the time, this handy thing won't leave you terrified of that morning hello-g'bye kiss.

That concludes my first blog.  I started a girl and left a woman.  I hope it was as good for you as it was for me.

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Belgium: Hymenoplasty

A recent message on a Muslim French language forum asked for help in hymen reconstruction, a life or death issue.  A fellow poster jumped to the rescue, offering her own experience - a 300 euro operation, sympathetic gynecologist and a successful wedding night.

Posts such as these show the dilemma of Muslim girls in Europe - living between their family's cultural demands and their daily European-style life.  They grow up just like Belgian kids, going to school and out shopping together, but once marriage looms on the horizon, they are in a completely different world. 

Hymenoplasty is not covered by social security in Belgium, but reimbursement is possible if the doctor agrees to write that the operation was done due to postpartum complications, according to Marleen Temmerman, of the obstetrics department in Ghent University Hospital.

INAMI, which manages social security payments in Belgium, reimbursed 2,760 hymen reconstructions in 2004, almost double the number in 2000.  However, most women who choose to do this operation prefer to stay anonymous and do not appear in official statistics.

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Interviewing people about the loss of virginity is one thing, asking your elderly aunt to tell you about the first time she had penetrative sex is another.

From the Virginity Project

‘On the first night I might tell you, I thought this is much ado about nothing.  But then I got to like it.’

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MP suggests virginity tests

OPPOSITION parliamentarian, Ernie Smith, yesterday proposed virginity tests on schoolgirls, while government member Sharon Hay-Webster suggested the compulsory sterilisation of young women who have at least three children as part of a strategy to fight unwanted pregnancies and poverty in Jamaica.

The recommendations are likely to prove highly controversial, especially among gender activists. But there was no immediate response last night by groups which usually speak on such issues.

The parliamentarians made their suggestions to the backdrop of a debate in the House on the recently-released Keating Report pointing to sexual and other abuse in children's homes and places of safety and calling for urgent reform in the system. Initially, the Opposition sought to call for a censure and firing of Health Minister John Junor, but they compromised yesterday, settling for a resolution calling for urgent government action to fix the problem.

Smith, a lawyer, raised the idea of the virginity tests while providing broad support for Hay-Webster, who had expressed concern about a breakdown of family life and values, and the growing number of young people who had gone through multiple pregnancies. She urged community support to strengthen social values.

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Losing Virginity Later Linked to Sexual Problems

While past research has linked early sexual activity to health problems, a new study suggests that waiting too long to start having sex carries risks of its own.

Those who lose their virginity at a later age -- around 21 to 23 years of age -- tend to be more likely to experience sexual dysfunction problems later, say researchers at Columbia University and the New York State Psychiatric Institute's HIV Center for Clinical and Behavioral Studies.

The study will appear in the January 2008 issue of the American Journal of Public Health.

Men who lose their virginity in their 20s, in particular, seemed to be more likely to experience sexual problems that include difficulty becoming sexually aroused and reaching orgasm.

The increase in sexual problems was also seen in those who had a comparably earlier sexual debut. And the researchers were quick to point out that there isn't enough evidence to say for sure whether waiting to have sex necessarily leads to sexual dysfunction down the road.

"Our results do not allow for causal interpretations," the study authors write.

Rather, they note in the study, there may be factors common to both the delay of sexual activity and the onset of sexual dysfunction -- for example, they write, "[M]en with sexual problems may avoid sexual interactions and consequently start later."

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Alycia Lane: A Virgin At 23, Apparently

The best thing from the Phillymag's novel about the Alycia Lane saga is most certainly this factoid on the fourth page about Lane:

 

In fact, defending herself, she later told people that she hadn’t lost her virginity until she was 23.

Okay, so that should be what people will be talking about. There's also such a dramatic ending: "Except that person was long gone. In her place was Alycia, out with her celebrity DJ boyfriend and a powerful radio exec, wearing that expensive black designer jacket, her makeup as perfect as it always was on-air, pulling out her iPhone and snapping shots of what she must have thought was news. And then she said the words that both begin and end the story of Alycia Lane, the words that describe who she had been, and had lost, that might actually sound somewhat poetic, in the desperate way that famous last words always are." Stop! Enough, you had me until that last sentence.

Coincidentally, Andy Reid's lawyer was present for the creation of this story, too. No, really: Alycia Lane's lawyer is Andy Reid's lawyer. Nevermind then. (He's actually quoted.)

'American Idol' Virgin's Dad Tags Along To Safeguard Son's Prized Virginity, Vaguely Creep Out 30 Million Viewers

Pausing ever so briefly from the important work of culling tone-deaf attention-whores and those mentally unbalanced enough to believe their cruel co-workers are sincere when they say, "You should totally try out for American Idol, Billy! We love the way you rock out to 'It's Raining Men' in your cubicle every day! Make sure you bring your stapler 'microphone,' Simon Cowell will get a kick out of that," from the show's cattle-call population, last night's installment took some time to present the moving story of Never Been Kissed Bruce, a 19-year-old virgin who has yet to experience the pleasures of a woman's touch. Bruce was, perhaps not unsurprisingly, chaperoned by his not-at-all overprotective father, the curator of the heart-lock necklace into which his son will place his throbbing key pendant whenever he meets a lady of acceptable moral fiber.

Rightly, Ryan Seacrest warns Dad of the virgin-despoiling dangers that await his son in the Hollywood round, where dozens of sex-crazed contestants stage nightly orgies during the time they should be memorizing lyrics, an imminent threat to the lad's dogged chastity; luckily for Bruce, his journey ended in the audition room, sparing him from the possibility of being tricked into surrending his cherished manflower to some harlot after a night of debauchery at the Saddle Ranch.

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