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Guttmacher Institute Tracks Teen Sex Trends

There's a common misperception that teens tend to engage in alternative sexual activities while trying to maintain their virginity. A Guttmacher Institute study debunks the myth, finding sexually active teens are almost 20 times more likely to engage in oral or anal sex than their virgin peers. Linda Klepacki, sexual health analyst for Focus on the Family Action, said parents can help their children steer clear of this alarming trend. “The most important (thing) to convey is God’s awesome design for sexuality and His abundant blessings when we honor His boundaries to keep sexual expression within marriage," she said. “Talk with your child who’s sitting next to you in the car. That way you’re not looking at each other, and it’s much easier to begin those discussions.”

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Physician touts her virginity to promote purity, abstinence

Dr. Lindsay Marsh, 30, is beautiful, well-educated successful ... and a virgin.

The anesthesiologist and ordained minister from Upper Marlboro, Md., is the founder of I Am Worth the Wait, an organization that promotes sexual purity and abstinence.

Marsh will give a presentation, "The Next Step," at 6:30 p.m. Friday at Hartford Middle School at 1824 Third St. SE in Canton. The event is sponsored by LIFE Ministries International Church, and the Stark Community Foundation.

Author of the book, "The Best Sex of My Life," Marsh said she made the decision to remain a virgin until marriage at an early age.

"I was like your normal 16-year-old," she recalled. "I had my first boyfriend and I was in love, but my parents raised me to believe that virginity was a special and important gift. It carried over into my relationship."

But Marsh admits the relationship became physical, by other means.

THE BODY AS TEMPLE

"I got caught up in vicious cycle," she said. "I found myself doing things I never intended to do. The young man who was my boyfriend, left to find his satisfaction elsewhere. At 16, that was a difficult concept for me to grasp. That propelled me into a place, and I took a step back. Out of nowhere, I decided to sit down and develop a relationship with God."

At 17, Marsh said she embraced the biblical concept of the body as a "temple," that "I really deserved to wait for a person who will deserve and earn me."

Marsh said today's young adults are deluged with messages to the contrary, and too many, she added, get their information from TV, the barbershop, locker rooms, or the cafeteria.

MEDIA INFLUENCE

"A lot of (music) videos could qualify as soft pornography," she said. "Quite honestly, the media is probably the most powerful influence that young people have right now, in some instances more than parents. Some parents are ignoring the subject. Meanwhile, Kanye West, and Beyonce and Jay-Z don't have any problem at all, talking about it."

Marsh pointed to R&B singer Usher's new song "(I Wanna Make) Love in The Club."

"It's going to be a self-fulfilling prophecy," she said. "People play out what they see. That's just the truth of the matter ... people don't have a defense because they're not being taught."

Marsh said black families often don't teach abstinence because it's seen as a "Republican or "Bush" policy.

"Also, we associate a person who is abstinent, as lonely, sad, unpopular and rejected, " she said. "You can be attractive, popular and successful. I want to have the same influence that Kanye West or Alicia Keys has on mainstream culture, but for sexual purity."

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'Sex and the City' Turns 14-Year-Olds into Sluts then Mormons

      "Lisa" was a 14-year-old girl hooked on "Sex and the City" and growing up in New York. She lost her virginity that year, graduated to drinking cosmos and soon began cheating on her boyfriend with up to seven guys a week. This comes from a new article at ABC.com titled "'Sex and the City' Fiend: Show Turned Me Into Samantha".

Lisa (not her real name) began emulating Samantha (Kim Cattrall's character in the show turned feature film) to the point that she drops this little story based on an episode when Samantha scrunches her face up at her latest suitor and tells him she doesn't like the way he ... tastes.

"That was something that happened to me. I used her exact words: 'You have funky spunk,'" she said. "I knew from watching the show that it had to do with something he was eating," so she took a cue from the script and took an ax to a certain item in his diet.

Luckily, this story has a happy ending as "Lisa" has now embraced a Mormon life but she has been forced to sell her "Sex and the City" DVDs on eBay and her husband forbade her to watch "Sex and the City".

Ha! Apparently he was afraid "it would lure her back to her habits of sex, drugs and one-too-many cosmos." This guy must be a real winner.

The article goes on to say that "Sex and the City" can't be blamed for creating a generation of sluts. Yeah, you girls did that all on your own... Another cosmo over here please!

Don't fear you hounds, "Lisa" has reclaimed her DVDs and plans on seeing the movie on opening day. Not sure if she will be hammered on cosmos, but word is if you offer she won't be rude and refuse.

If you want to read the fluff of the piece click here, or just click here and buy what this site is selling, I think it is from episode 10 from season 7.

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Teen sex study doubts "technical virginity"

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - A survey examining sexual practices of U.S. teens has undercut the notion that many engage in oral sex rather than intercourse to stay "technically" virgins, researchers said on Tuesday.

   

The findings, published in the Journal of Adolescent Health, were based on answers by 2,271 females and males age 15 to 19 in 2002 in response to a government survey.

    

   

The researchers found about 55 percent of the teens said they had engaged in oral sex but that this practice was far more common among those who also had engaged in vaginal sex.

   

Teens said they began vaginal and oral sex at roughly the same time -- by six months after first vaginal intercourse, 82 percent had also engaged in oral sex, according to the study.

   

"There is a widespread belief that teens engage in nonvaginal forms of sex, especially oral sex, as a way to be sexually active while still claiming that, technically, they are virgins," Laura Lindberg of the Guttmacher Institute in New York, who led the study, said in a statement.

   

"However, our research shows that this supposed substitution of oral sex for vaginal sex is largely a myth. There is no good evidence that teens who have not had intercourse engage in oral sex with a series of partners."

   

The Guttmacher Institute studies sexual and reproductive health issues.

    About one in 10 of the teens said they had engaged in anal sex. These teens were far more likely to have also engaged in vaginal sex.

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Sex column: Reason for staying pure range from religious beliefs to lack of action

Of all the milestones one reaches in life, losing one's virginity can be one of the most fondly - or regrettably - remembered. Some, however, have yet to reach this milestone.

According to a 2002 report by the Guttmacher Institute, a nonprofit organization that studies reproductive and sexual health, 95 percent of Americans reported having premarital sex.

But what about the other 5 percent? 

One of the more traditional reasons to hold off on getting it on is saving oneself for marriage.

Depending on your religious beliefs, remaining a virgin until you are married is a valued virtue. No wonder, since the other 95 percent of us could hardly wait to do the horizontal mambo.

My own experience in this department may be - or may not be - your typical tale: Boy meets girl, boy promises girl the moon, girl gives it up, boy spends next six months harassing girl because she broke up with his clingy ass. Ah, youth.

I scoured Chico State for the rare breed - Virginicus collegiatus - hoping to shed some light on the reasons it has decided to keep its pants on longer than most.

Believe it or not, it is awkward and difficult to A) ask random people on campus if they are still virgins, B) get them to admit to you, a perfect stranger, they are in college and still a virgin and C) get them to tell you about it.

But find them I did, only genuinely creeping out two or three people in the process. It's progress.

Virgin No. 1 is a 24-year-old male business major. He says the reason he hasn't lost his virginity is because of his shy nature and not meeting the "right one" just yet.

"My dad always told me just to not do it with a random girl I don't even care about if I'm going to do it before I get married," he said.

He's also managed to fool his roommates into think the he's done the horizontal mambo.

"I just let them assume I already lost it (with my first girlfriend) back in high school. I don't need that to be a public thing."

When I pressed for more details about what he has and hasn't done, his face turned beet red. "What is this, 'Moment of Truth'?" he said, wiping fake sweat off his brow.

But don't think he doesn't get the ladies.

"I go on dates and to bars with girls every once in a while," he said. "But a lot of them just seem too dramatic and high-maintenance."

He also admits he has few good friends who are female.

Virgin No. 2 is a 23-year-old female liberal studies major. She says the reason she hasn't lost her virginity yet is because she doesn't try hard enough and is too focused on school.

"When I go to school, I don't try to look good," she confesses, adding the majority of the people in her classes are female. "If there are no guys, I'm not going to wake up at 6 a.m. and get all done up for no reason."

She has some serious career aspirations - and no time to waste on men.

"I guess I just would prefer to get my education out of the way first. I see all these girls around campus hanging on their boyfriends all the time and I think, 'When are you getting your work done?'"

Ouch, that one cut me deep.

As hardcore as she may sound, she said she does get lonely.

"Who wouldn't want someone there when you have a bad day? It's just more risk than reward at this point," she said.

When I ask her if she's up for dating, she smiles coyly and fires back, "Why? You know someone?"

Yes I do. He's a 24-year-old business major.

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Virginity: A Very Personal Decision

Sometimes it might seem like everyone in school is talking about who's a virgin, who isn't, and who might be. For both girls and guys, the pressure can sometimes be intense.

But deciding whether it's right for you to have sex is one of the most important decisions you'll ever have to make. Each person must use his or her own judgment and decide if it's the right time — and the right person.

This means considering some very important factors — both physical ones, like the possibility of becoming pregnant or getting a sexually transmitted disease (STD) — and emotional factors, too. Though a person's body may feel ready for sex, sex also has very serious emotional consequences.

For many teens, moral factors are very important as well. Family attitudes, personal values, or religious beliefs provide them with an inner voice that guides them in resisting pressures to get sexually involved before the time is right.

Peer Pressure Problems and Movie Madness

Nobody wants to feel left out of things — it's natural to want to be liked and feel as if you're part of a group of friends. Unfortunately, some teens feel that they have to lose their virginity to keep up with their friends or to be accepted.

It doesn't sound like it's all that complicated; maybe most of your friends have already had sex with their boyfriends or girlfriends and act like it isn't a big deal. But sex isn't something that's only physical; it's emotional, too. And because everyone's emotions are different, it's hard to rely on your friends' opinions to decide if it's the right time for you to have sex.

What matters to you is the most important thing, and your values may not match those of your friends. That's OK — it's what makes people unique. Having sex to impress someone or to make your friends happy or feel like you have something in common with them won't make you feel very good about yourself in the long run. True friends don't really care whether a person is a virgin — they will respect your decisions, no matter what.

Even if your friends are cool with your decision, it's easy to be misled by TV shows and movies into thinking that every teen in America is having sex. Writers and producers may make a show or movie plot exciting by showing teens being sexually active, but these teens are actors, not real people with real concerns. They don't have to worry about being ready for sex, how they will feel later on, or what might happen as a result. In other words, these TV and movie plots are stories, not real life. In real life, every teen can, and should, make his or her own decision.

Boyfriend Blues or Girlfriend Gripes

Although some teens who are going out don't pressure each other about sex, the truth is that in many relationships, one person wants to have sex although the other one doesn't.

Again, what matters most differs from person to person. Maybe one person in a relationship is more curious and has stronger sexual feelings than the other. Or another person has religious reasons why he or she doesn't want to have sex and the other person doesn't share those beliefs.

Whatever the situation, it can place stress and strain on a relationship — you want to keep your boyfriend or girlfriend happy, but you don't want to compromise what you think is right.

As with almost every other major decision in life, you need to do what is right for you and not anyone else. If you think sex is a good idea because a boyfriend or girlfriend wants to begin a sexual relationship, think again.

Anyone who tries to pressure you into having sex by saying, "if you truly cared, you wouldn't say no," or "if you loved me, you'd show it by having sex" isn't really looking out for you and what matters most to you. They're looking to satisfy their own feelings and urges about sex.

If someone says that not having sex after doing other kinds of fooling around will cause him or her physical pain, that's also a sign that that person is thinking only of himself or herself. If you feel that you should have sex because you're afraid of losing that person, it may be a good time to end the relationship.

Sex should be an expression of love — not something a person feels that he or she must do. If a boyfriend or girlfriend truly loves you, he or she won't push or pressure you to do something you don't believe in or aren't ready for yet.

Feeling Curious

You might have a lot of new sexual feelings or thoughts. These feelings and thoughts are totally normal — it means that all of your hormones are working properly. But sometimes your curiosity or sexual feelings can make you feel like it's the right time to have sex, even though it may not be.

Though your body may have the ability to have sex and you may really want to satisfy your curiosity, it doesn't mean your mind is ready. Although some teens understand how sex can affect them emotionally, many don't — and this can lead to confusion and deeply hurt feelings later.

But at the same time, don't beat yourself up or be too hard on yourself if you do have sex and then wish you hadn't. Having sexual feelings is normal and handling them can sometimes seem difficult, even if you planned otherwise. Just because you had sex once doesn't mean you have to continue or say yes later on, no matter what anyone tells you. Making mistakes is not only human, it's a major part of being a teen — and you can learn from mistakes.

Why Some Teens Wait

Some teens are waiting longer to have sex — they are thinking more carefully about what it means to lose their virginity and begin a sexual relationship.

For these teens, there are many reasons for abstinence (not having sex). Some don't want to worry about unplanned pregnancy and all its consequences. Others see abstinence as a way to protect themselves completely from STDs. Some STDs (like AIDS) can literally make sex a life-or-death situation, and many teens take this very seriously.

Some teens don't have sex because their religion prohibits it or because they simply have a very strong belief system of their own. Other teens may recognize that they aren't ready emotionally and they want to wait until they're absolutely sure they can handle it.

When it comes to sex, there are two very important things to remember: one, that you are ultimately the person in charge of your own happiness and your own body; and two, you have a lot of time to wait until you're totally sure about it. If you decide to put off sex, it's OK — no matter what anyone says. Being a virgin is one of the things that proves you are in charge, and it shows that you are powerful enough to make your own decisions about your mind and body.

If you find yourself feeling confused about decisions related to sex, you may be able to talk to an adult (like a parent, doctor, older sibling, aunt, or uncle) for advice. Keep in mind, though, that everyone's opinion about sex is different. Even though another person may be able to share useful advice, in the end, the decision is up to you.

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Jenna Bush to lose her virginity

Jenna Bush, the 27 year old daughter to U.S. President George W. Bush, says she is "scared and nervous" about losing her virginity after her wedding to University of Virginia Graduate student Henry Hager.

"I have never had sex before", the presidential daughter declared in a candid interview. "I hope it's as much fun as people say it is".

Jenna claimed that she had reservations about losing her virginity and wanted to wait until she and her husband had been married at least three years before commencing with the deed. However, her mother and several close friends encouraged her to have sex on her wedding night.

"I think it would be wonderful if Jena lost her virginity on her wedding night", First Lady Laura Bush stated. "It took George almost 6 months before he could get it up".

Not everyone agreed that Jenna losing her virginity was a good idea. President Bush claimed, "sex should only be used for producing offspring. I hope my daughter understands that. We had a conversation about the birds and the bees two years ago".

Jenna claimed that she has read much about sex but has never enjoyed the experience mostly because she has been followed around by secret service agents her whole life.

"We have made sure that the first daughter retained her wholesomeness and purity until after she was married", said a Secret Service officer who asked not to be named. "However, we did party with her and got drunk a few times".

"I am looking forward to having sex with my husband", Jenna continued. "I just hope he doesn't expect me to put his penis in my mouth".

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History of Virginity

A book review by Yujean Park at Feminist Review, of Virgin: The Untouched History :   

The very first sentence of this book is, “By any material reckoning, virginity does not exist.” So then, why have cultures and societies maintained such an investment in virginity, even today? This introduction opens the floodgates to a challenge that author Hanne Blanke tackles in researching and analyzing the history of virginity (and its loss) as a social construct with deep cross-cultural relevance.

Virgin: The Untouched History introduces multiple definitions of virginity, careful not to legitimize one over the other or specify a singular, universally applicable version. She studies virginity from a variety of angles, approaching it from anatomy, species, cultural representations, and more.

[...]

As Blanke is a historian and approaches her subject matter from a historical perspective, she shows a critique of the virginal construct in that it is almost exclusively heteronormative; the claims and values surrounding it target an assumedly universally heterosexual audience. The fundamental message of her book, which is to challenge the notion of virginity as a static, universal, and monolithic idea, is successfully and succinctly achieved in her work. Virgin: The Untouched History is a valuable work that will increase understandings of female sexuality, bodies, and cultural production.

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‘Virginity’ shirts stir dispute

The Albemarle school division denied Thursday an allegation that officials at Albemarle High School warned female students not to wear T-shirts promoting abstinence.

That allegation was made by the Rutherford Institute — a national nonprofit legal organization based in Charlottesville dedicated to the defense of civil liberties — in a letter sent to Superintendent Pam Moran on Thursday morning. The Rutherford Institute is representing an AHS student.

The T-shirts read “Virginity rocks” on the front and “I’m loving my husband and I haven’t even met him! MyLifeMyCall.com” on the back. The shirts are part of a campaign by Worth Your Wait, a nonprofit abstinence education group based in Ruckersville.

In the letter to Moran, John Whitehead, the president and founder of the Rutherford Institute, threatened legal action if students are not allowed to wear the T-shirts.

But a statement released Thursday afternoon by the school division said that the T-shirts are acceptable and that no warnings or other administrative actions against students had taken place.

According to the school division’s version of events, several AHS students wearing the T-shirts asked Principal Matt Haas in April if the shirts were acceptable. Haas said they were.

“I appreciate the opportunity to share the full facts of this situation, and can assure our students and their parents that Albemarle County Public Schools works very hard to protect all the rights of our students, including free expression, as we strive to provide a positive and productive learning environment,” Moran said in a statement.

Whitehead agreed that Haas acknowledged the students’ right to wear the T-shirts. But several lower-level school employees at AHS continued to tell students to cover up the T-shirts, he said.

“Where there is smoke, there is fire,” Whitehead said.

Whitehead claimed victory Thursday evening and said that no legal action would be taken as long as students are allowed to wear the shirts.

“We’re happy that school officials agree with us and the students can wear the shirts,” he said. “The schools can’t fight us on this because the law is on our side. If the schools stick to allowing the shirts, we’ll be fine. But if they divert from it, we’ll be back.”

Abstinence is part of the sex education curriculum throughout the state of Virginia.

Whitehead also said that a student at Charlottesville High School was asked to cover up a “Virginity rocks” T-shirt.

City schools spokeswoman Cass Cannon could not confirm that claim but added that school officials were not even aware of the T-shirts until media inquiries on the issue began coming in Thursday.

This is not the first time that a T-shirt has caused a controversy in the area. In 2002, Alan Newsom, then a student at Jack Jouett Middle School, sued the county school system after being forced to turn a National Rifle Association T-shirt inside out. The shirt bore silhouettes of three target shooters and the words “NRA Sports Shooting Camp.”

The 4th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals ruled unanimously that the dress code at Jouett — which banned clothing with images of weapons — was too broad. Newsom reached a private settlement with the school system and the dress code was changed to allow images of weapons as long as the weapons are not displayed in an unlawful, violent or threatening manner. 

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Do Men Value Virginity

Let us start this topic by dwelling on the question that “what is virginity”. Virginity can be taken to define the state of a person who has never ever had sex with a member of the opposite sex, till date. A person who has already has sexual encounters will be termed as a non-virgin. In the earlier times, virginity was thought to be one of the desirable attributes of a person about to get married for the first time. However, the desire was concentrated more in case of a woman, as compared to a man. With time, the equation seems to have changed little.

 

Double Standards

Men have as many affairs and one-night stands as they want, but when it comes down to marriage, they want a woman who is completely innocent, and untouched till date. Though they want to indulge in pre-marital sex, they won't accept a female who has indulged in sex before marriage as their wife. With time, our society has progressed to quite an extent. However, the concept of having a virgin wife hasn’t changed too much. Even today, there is a significant proportion of men, who would squirm at the mere thought of having a wife who is not a virgin.

 

The Other Side

Though the chauvinism of guys is still rampant, there are some for whom marrying a non-virgin wife is not such a big issue. They do not hold a certain set of standards for themselves, while prescribing a different one for their better half. Such guys accept the fact that having a past is no big deal, as long as you are faithful and loyal to your present partner. These men do not limit the basis of a relationship to merely the physical realm. Rather, they believe marriage to be the union of the soul as well as the mind.

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