The Sunday Giveaway: Two Tickets to First Date on Broadway!

Let me ask you all a question.

Raise your hands if you’ve .  . . ever been on a first date?

Ok, did everyone feel thousands of hands go up at the same time?

That’s right, dating, and therefore a first date, is something that pretty much the entire population . . . of everywhere . . . has in common.

So, that would say that a musical called, oh I don’t know, First Date (talk about a good title), might have a large market, wouldn’t you say?  I mean if every single theatergoer in the world can relate to your subject, you’re starting off on the right marketing foot, right?

First Date stars Zachary “Chuck” Levi and Krysta “Smash” Rodriguez and is about, duh, a first date.  But like “24,” it happens in real time, and through some serious creative funny-business you get to see what this guy and doll are thinking as their love connection unfolds.

Good date?  Bad date?  What will it be?

One of you will find out because we’re giving away two tickets to this very first entry in the 2013-14 Broadway season!  And, ah, yeah, if you haven’t guessed, this show would be great for date night.

So how do you win?  Let’s go off topic a bit (but sort of on).

Tell me your WORST date story in the comments below.  I’ll pick a winner.

Need an example?  Ooooohh I’ve got a bunch, but nothing tops the one where the girl started crying about five minutes in.

Good luck!

 

(Got a comment? I love ‘em, so comment below! Email Subscribers, click here then scroll down to say what’s on your mind!)
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Comments
  • This date started out poorly by the fact that it was for lunch at Country Kitchen. We had sat down and began to chat for only a few minutes when a random woman wearing an Olive Garden uniform walked into the restaurant and came up to our table. She was introduced as a friend of my date. We chatted a bit and she was just “checking in to see how things were going”. After she left, it was discovered that she was the guy’s ex-fiancee. He had recently come out of the closet (one week earlier) and they were not only still living together until they could make plans for him moving out, but they were still sleeping in the same bed at night. I was his first gay date ever. Needless to say, I didn’t speak with him again. It made for a great experience though and I used it as a plot for my web series, so everything has it’s upside.

  • Teri says:

    I was in a car in the middle of a busy intersection and my first date driving. When the light turned red he decided to show me how he could smoke an entire cigarette with one drag. He did and passed out with his head on the wheel. I guess some people do really dumb things when they are young. I took over the wheel, drove him home and said id never date another smoker.

  • Liz Wollman says:

    I drank half a bottle of champagne before said date arrived. When he did, we started talking, I felt ill, casually walked to the sink and heaved, felt much better, and then sat down and resumed the conversation as if nothing had happened. The date ended very shortly thereafter. And yeah, I was an adolescent.

  • Michael says:

    The date started out without a clout in sky on a beautiful day in October. The temperature was slightly below 60s. I skipped to work without a care in the world and umbrella. During the day, dark clouts covered New York City and by nightfall, aka on my way home, rain mixed with snow was coming down in buckets. That was definitely the worst date.

  • Ray Quirolgico says:

    My worst blind date was a poorly arranged blind date. I was 28 or 29 and after talking with the man a few times, we both decided to meet for coffee because we found each other’s jobs and hobbies interesting (including a mutual love of theater and performing arts!). At first I couldn’t recognize my date. Then a man waved me over and he introduced himself as I sat down, very warily. First thing he says, “I guess I should have volunteered my age after knowing you were younger than 30, but since you didn’t ask, I didn’t offer it to you…because I was worried that if you knew I was 74 that you wouldn’t want to come back to my place.” A short bit later he says, “Oh let me pay for this, because I get a great discount here with my AARP card.” And after I said I was leaving he asked, “Is it because you are allergic to cats? I know I have 12 cats, but they stay out of my bedroom, so we could go right there.” Needless to say, there was no second date. Yup, I call this my “Three Strikes” (blind) date. Never again!

  • Sue says:

    I was twenty-something, broke, and lived on the Upper East Side (okay, more like East Harlem). He was a friend of a friend, a bit older, and lived on the Upper West Side. We had a two-hour phone conversation then he asked me to meet him at a diner near his place the next evening. We had a nice meal though he was not “the one”, and at the end of it he asked for my half of the tab. Having no cash, I wrote him a check. I could not afford it and the next day had the bank “stop” the check. He called me when it came back to him. Too bad — I wasn’t sorry at all!

  • Lisa Pratt says:

    Blind date set up by a work friend and her husband. The four of us had dinner at a famous seafood restaurant. It was a beautiful evening and we walked to the theater for part 2. Climbed to the 3rd floor (Balcony seats, ugh!), and I thought, geez this is why I hate the balcony, it’s hot and stuffy up here. I started feeling worse throughout the show, can’t even remember what the show was…but the guy was cute and nice. We went for drinks after (I should have said good-bye at the theater, but he was cute and nice) and I went from feeling bad to feeling worse and then I realized it was…food poisoning. I tried to bow out gracefully and the cute guy insisted on walking me to my car, where I proceeded to throw up in the gutter, while he was still standing there. Yup, first and last date with him and the seafood restaurant.

  • Justin S. says:

    Kind of a full Circle Situation – And a creepy “Its a small small world” situation.

    So in the fall of 2012 I met this really great guy named Chris. On our first date he offered for me to come over and he will cook me dinner. He lived on Central Park West, so naturally I was impressed and wanted to go just to get a chance to check out a sweet apartment. As he is cooking he jokingly says, “Don’t get too used to this place, I am subletting it from an actor who is out on tour with this musical right now.” I laugh and that was beginning of an enchanting romance that lasted 2 months and then ended TERRIBLY – We are talking awful emails and texts..yada yada.

    Flash forward a year and a half and I have gone out on the 1st national tour of this musical and meet this super awesome guy who is also in the show who rocks…yada yada. He invites me over to his place to hang out when we finally get back to the city…

    I ask him for the address, and it strikes me as really familiar. I show up and it starts to stir weird emotions and I can’t quite put my finger on it. I knock on the door and it all kicks in…

    I HAD DATED HIS SUBLETTER!….IT GETS EVEN WORSE…I tell him…turns out CHRIS is now subletting the other room and would be home anyyyyyyy MINUTE! Needless to say, Chris gets home with his new boyfriend and I just laugh hysterically to the point that I fall out off my stool and have to excuse myself to the bathroom to laugh even harder….

    Life man!

  • Sharon says:

    Recently separated, I was anxious about going out on a date. One of the first “dates” that I went out on, we met for a drink. He was handsome… and he knew it. He spent at least 20 minutes telling me stories about himself… and when he would remember that I was there and would ask a question, he would not even wait for my response.
    So, finally, I took a deep breath and said, I think its time for me to go.. There doesn’t appear to be room for both of us. He looked surprised… but when I got to the parking lot, I realized that I left my leather gloves on the table.. I debated if I should go back or not.. finally, I decided to go back and when I reentered, he said, “I knew you would come back, nobody walks out on me.” It was then that I was sure that I would leave again… and I did.

  • Melissa Conkling says:

    I was on a first date and the topic of my home town came up, and I was explaining that it is in the country and there are a lot of cows. He got a really weird look on his face and said “Ugh…Cows freak me out.” I found this a bit odd, so I asked why. He continued with “They’re just so freaky…they’ve got, like, 5 penises.” I had to delicately explain to him that cows are female and that is their udder. He did not believe me. It was really quite awkward.

  • maria says:

    a guy took me to Papa Johns on a first date and he yelled at the guy at the counter when he realized there was no where to sit because it was just a takeout location and he thought it was a restaurant. So the guy at the counter brought a table out of the employee break room and two rolley chairs from the manager’s office and created a table in the lobby for us to sit at and eat our pizza. I wanted to die.

  • Claire says:

    I didn’t know where we were going beforehand, and he ended up taking me to Hogs & Heifers Saloon. If you’ve never heard of it, be glad; it’s a Coyote Ugly-type dive bar that I would never, ever choose to go to. I paid for my own cover charge and my drink just to watch my date flirt with the scantily clad waitresses and ogle them as they danced on the bar. I tried to be a good sport about it, but after about an hour I told him I wanted to leave. He said okay and goodbye; he stayed there and I went home. It was a first and last date.

  • Kim says:

    We were set up through mutual friends. He arranged for us to have brunch at Cafe Luxembourg (a good sign I thought). I arrived 5 minutes early, he kept me waiting 20 minutes then showed up with a very full gym bag and very very short shorts on. I couldn’t tell if his hair was wet from a shower or sweat. He mumbled apologies. We sat down and ordered. He mumbled through the whole meal and as he ate his hamburger, the food literally got everywhere, down his shirt, on his elbows, he chewed with his mouth open and he managed to spread his french fries ALL over the table whilst licking his fingers incessantly. I really should have just gotten up and walked out but he was a friend of a friend (gee thanks!)so I sat and endured it (he is a well known publisher and I thought I might be regaled with a good story or two but no such luck). At the end of the meal, outside on the street, with stains all over his clothing and on his chin, he not only tried to shake my hand with his sticky fingers, he sized me up and in the creepiest, most lascivious voice he said, “Yeaaaaah, I’d like to see YOOOOOOOOOUUUU again.” To which I replied, “Thank you but I’m busy for the rest of my life.” I had never seen anything like this man before and thankfully since.

  • Jenny T says:

    I was so thrilled to go out with a cute guy I had met in my undergrad sociology class. He invited me over to a cocktail party his parents were throwing and theb to dinner after. I bought a new dress that I truly felt was sexy and fabuloua just for the occasion. Then I showed up at his parent’s apartment and his 82 year old grandmother answered the door in the exact same dress that I had on….that definitely took the sexy right out of it…

  • Elizabeth T says:

    My friend talked me into going on a date with her boyfriend’s cousin. I was feeling weird about a blind date so she and her boyfriend agreed to meet us at the movie theatre to assist if it was going poorly. The entire car ride to the theatre consisted of him talking about cars, engines, and tools. I thought things like that only happened in movies! By the time we all arrived at the theatre, the only movie that was playing around that time was The Passion of the Christ. We figured “Ehh, why not?” I will tell you why not. The movie ended with my friend and I uncontrollably sobbing in the movie theatre bathroom with no desire to ever have fun again. That was a date from hell… Not heaven.

  • Corine Cohen says:

    I was on a blind date on JDATE. The guy used a photo from 30 years ago. He met me in Starbucks and greeted me by staring at my boobs and then reached over and screamed BOOB THE BOOBIES. I was so stunned and jumped backwards. He was crazy. A man working at Starbucks asked if I was ok I thanked him and left. He followed me down the street. At the time LIPS was a few blocks away. I ran into LIPS and the place was full of talent and I knew the manager so I ran there and got Peppermint, Joan Rivers and Cher and told them the man grabbed my boob. They went out of the club and told him to leave or he would take care of them. That is when my love for drag began and I have not dated since. Sigh.

    • Corine Cohen says:

      I owe Peppermint a lot because whatever she said to him made him run away and thankfully I never heard from him again. I was so freaked out I stopped dating on Jdate. Grabbing boobs is very odd.

  • A few years ago, I went out to the movies on a first date with a woman. She picked the movie: “Brokeback Mountain.” Secure in my masculinity, I said, sure, though privately I wondered if this was the ideal film for the first date of a straight couple. She then proceeded to constantly refer to the picture as “the gay cowboy movie” and talk about how hot it was to see two guys make out. There was no second date.

  • David Rigano says:

    I had been flirting with a woman for a long time. It was so palpable that others around noticed and asked me if how long we’d been together. But nothing had actually happened between us.

    We both had to be somewhere early one morning, so she asked if she could stay at my place for the night, since I lived closer to where we both needed to be. This is it, I thought. This was going to be our romantic night together. Once she got to my place, we stated flirting like we always did. I coyly asked where she was thinking of sleeping. She smiled even more coyly and asked if I would mind her sleeping in my bed with me. I replied that of course I didn’t mind.

    Then she gave me another coy smile as she showed me the engagement ring on her finger. When I asked, incredulously, when she’d gotten engaged, she responded, “Yesterday.” And she still slept in my bed!

    It’s a good thing I’d poured us both a drink when she’d arrived, because I needed mine badly!

  • Bryan Austermann says:

    I had an unexpected date (we ran into each other on the way in) with a guy to see an advanced screening of the Les Miz movie. Before the movie started I mentioned that it was only the second movie I had seen since being in NYC. He asked what the other movie was. I said “…Titanic in 3D…” He asks, “Did I see that?” The answer? Yes. Yes he did. With me. That was our first date, so I clearly made a lasting impression 😉 haha

  • Nathan C says:

    Shortly after our 6 Month, my girlfriend and I broke up. It was at a Halloween party, and she and I were having a blast, until we decided to break up. Was I heart broken? Yes. Did it ruin my night? Possibly.

  • Jackie S says:

    I dated this guy for a few months my junior year of college. He was very sweet, and clearly much more into me than I was into him. To a point where, after just a couple kisses, he’d have to excuse himself to, um, “take care of business” before returning to the date.
    On our third date, he took me to an arcade (why? I have no idea. And, no, this wasn’t an awesome place like Dave & Buster’s). It was in Chinatown the day of the Chinese New Year parade. The streets were empty and we decided to make out essentially in an alley. After a minute or two, he stops, looks at me, and asks me if I touch myself at night.

    Needless to say, the date ended rather quickly & I saw him only once more to end things with him.

  • Michelle says:

    We met on the beach at Myrtle beach, he asked me out for dinner, he took me to a seafood restaurant…..I hate seafood! I Thought there might be another choice besides seafood on the menu, nope there wasn’t, so I settled for a shrimp salad, at least I could eat the salad part, it came totally covered with shrimps. The date did not go well and at the end of the night he said to me the nicest thing you said to me all night was “would you like a piece of shrimp?” that was a first and last date!

  • Shiraz says:

    I had a first date with a guy who was waiting for me outside the wine bar and seemed shocked that I had actually arrived. We entered, and despite the fact that there were only really two options of places to sit (two empty tables in the window and a few places at the bar), I stood awkwardly behind him while he debated for a good five minutes. Once we finally sat and ordered, he proceeded to tell me all about his fears (just about everything) and various conspiracy theories (so bizarre, that I wasn’t willing to tell him where I actually lived). At one point he got up to go to the bathroom and said to me, “Do I need to worry that you are going to put a date rape drug in my drink? It’s ok if you do”. When he returned he proceeded to order two more drinks even though I did not and had said early on that I could only stay for one as I had to be somewhere else. After sitting in near silence for almost a half an hour while he finished his drinks we finally left and I went down the first subway entrance available even though it wasn’t my train. I figured the silence made it clear that we weren’t compatible, but two days later I got a text asking me for dinner. I politely wrote back and declined saying I didn’t think we were suited. He responded with a text claiming we were, “like chocolate and peanut butter.” Two days later I got an email with 40 lines of rhyming couplets begging me for a second date. An excerpt to truly appreciate his poetic expression (complete with spelling errors):

    “Oh I forget your very crafty
    whilst you nit me a sweater, my apartment is drafty

    I like a girl who enjoys bagpipe and fiddle
    on the Brady Bunch intro they stuck Alice in the middle

    but no corny lines about destiny and fate
    how about though just one more date ?”

    I had never given him my email address. Needless to say there was no second date.

  • Katy Moore says:

    Senior Prom. I was seeing a guy I knew from another school. My prom was one weekend, his was the next. We were going to go to both proms.
    I spent over $200 on a dress. I bought the flowers.
    He borrowed his father’s baby blue Cadillac (I was not as impressed as he expected). He took me to the restaurant where his older brother worked (again, not very impressed). We were the only people in the back room… not even the bus boys bothered to check on us. He seemed distracted and didn’t talk much. He spent more time talking to his brother, the waiter. The food was mediocre. The service was, too.
    After dinner, on the way to the dance, he told me he didn’t want to take me to his prom. (Excuse me?) Apparently, there was a girl he’d liked for a long time who wouldn’t give him the time of day until she got desperate for a date to the prom and no one had asked her yet. So she asked him and he said yes.
    Since I was trapped in his car, I didn’t say much. We got to the dance and he tried to act like nothing had happened and seemed surprised that I was “chilly” toward him. After about 30 minutes of ignoring him and not introducing him to my friends, he asked me if he should leave. (Duh.) He left. I arranged another ride to the after party.
    At the time, I was devastated. However, by the end of the after party, I was completely over the jerk.

  • Amy says:

    Oh how I’ve been waiting for this “worst date” moment on this blog! I’d been dating this guy a few months and we had been playing pool in a bar with a few friends. We were standing outside the bar afterwards and I casually asked him if he wanted to come back to my apartment. He mumbled that he had to get up early and at the same moment, the friends we’d been
    playing pool with came out of the bar. While I was talking to them I saw him walk around the corner of the next block. Since I was a little tipsy, I shouted “hey, where ya going?” And he proceeded to take off RUNNING down the street. RUNNING! And, due to my tipsiness, I RAN AFTER HIM. Ugh…not my proudest moment. After about a block or to, I stopped, realised a guy just LITERALLY RAN AWAY FROM ME and used that moment in my one woman show. The song? “Run, Freedom, Run,” of course! I have told this story many times and people don’t believe but every word is the truth 🙂

  • Cheryl Dzubak says:

    I met a guy who seemed so much fun. The first date(and the last one) was horrible. All night long he kept glancing at his watch. He barely even talked to me. It was mortifying for me. I thought, “Is he that bored with me?” When I asked him about it he said he just had to get up early the next morning. It was awful for me. I almost couldn’t wait for the night to be over myself.

  • Meg R. says:

    I just moved to New York and while getting my student ticket to see Macbeth, I met this guy Anthony, who told me he was an actor/producer. It’s New York, So everyone is an Actor/Producer/Singer/Songwriter, so when our casual chat outside the theatre changed to “do you want a real New Yorker’s tour of the city?” I figured I’d be okay. we were going to public places, and everything and we ended up in Bryant Park, where he really starts to get his flirt on. I’m now a tad uncomfortable. It starts to rain and he suggests we get a bite to eat. He leads me to one of his favorite places… McDonalds. While we were there, he tells me that he wishes he met me earlier. He then tells me he’s now homeless, and really needs 20 dollars, a meal, and sex. He also says the afternoon with me was the only thing keeping him from jumping in front of a train. I gave him 3 dollars and RAN AWAY as fast as I could. Lesson learned.

  • Meg R. says:

    I just moved to New York and while getting my student ticket to see Macbeth, I met this guy Anthony, who told me he was an actor/producer. It’s New York, So everyone is an Actor/Producer/Singer/Songwriter, so when our casual chat outside the theatre changed to “do you want a real New Yorker’s tour of the city?” I figured I’d be okay. we were going to public places, and everything and we ended up in Bryant Park, where he really starts to get his flirt on. I’m now a tad uncomfortable. It starts to rain and he suggests we get a bite to eat. He leads me to one of his favorite places… McDonalds. While we were there, he tells me that he wishes he met me earlier. He then tells me he’s now homeless, and really needs 20 dollars, a meal, and sex. He also says the afternoon with me was the only thing keeping him from jumping in front of a train. I gave him 3 dollars and RAN AWAY as fast as I could. Lesson learned.

  • Lauren says:

    We met at a piano bar, but he evidently remembered nothing from the initial interaction because on our first date, he asked me all of the same questions he asked at the bar and reacted in the exact same way to the (same) answers. He later volunteered out of nowhere, “I don’t THINK I’m an alcoholic.”

    Within the first half hour, he brought up marriage and his plan to have his parents arrange one if he wasn’t married within the next five years. “But no pressure!” he assured me, “I’m in no rush.”

    He suddenly exclaimed, “Let’s play 20 questions!” and then grilled me on everything from my favorite music to my favorite color, offering dime store psychoanalysis in response to my answers (“Pink means you’re a girly girl.”)

    As we talked, it was clear we had very little in common, not least of all our differing stances on marriage. At the end of the night, he said, “Well, I think this has been an excellent first date,” and then carefully laid out what he felt we had in common. “There’s only one real difference, but I don’t think either of us feels so strongly we couldn’t compromise. For these reasons, I believe we should have a second date.” It was transactional and I imagined he used the exact same method – down to the formalized language and the many careful hand gestures – when making deals with his colleagues and clients.

    I thanked him for the evening, kindly declined his offer, and said a silent prayer of appreciation that I got a story to tell.

  • nancy cohen says:

    a guy i had known as a friend only up and invited me for sushi dinner. i was surprised … he said to meet at the sushi joint where I did, standing, waiting, looking at the menu.. he tapped on the big glass front window outside the place and gestured for me to join him .. I didn’t understand as I thought we were eating there.. when I went out he said we had to wait until five after six.. I thought, oh well, perhaps it’s the early bird special.. no, that would have been luxury. we were waiting for the clerks to throw out the sushi trays, wrapped, but which would be considered off, if they tried to sell them the next day. So at six oh five, out comes big black garbage bags filled with sushi assortments from the cold case and in dove my friend Mike, pulling out the yellow tail and best bits for himself because of his ‘diabetes’ issue.. he told me to hurry and choose because in no time, a trail of other sushi free loaders in the know were lining up behind us, anxious to do their own gleaning. After Mike’s arms were full up with fishy trays we took our haul back to his apartment and dined.. that we are still friends and never lovers can be blamed on my delight in the absurd and accepting that he innocently confused dump diving with eating alfresco.

  • Hannah says:

    While it may seem tame, the worst date I ever went on was with the guy who wouldn’t tell me his name. It was something we started online and I realized I’d never gotten his name when I got to the restaurant. Trying to subtly get him to say his name all night was preoccupying and awkward. Needless to say, I still don’t know his name.

  • EllenFD says:

    We were teens at the time–and I later found out that girls were not exactly his favorite sex, so that might explain the regimented conduct of our first and last date. He picked me up at my house and said, “OK, this is where I hold your hand” (as though he were reading a Shepherd Mead-like manual). When we got on the bus, he said, “OK, this is where we sit at the back, and then I squeeze you [meaning my hand] a little harder.” I tried to engage him in conversation before the lights dimmed at the movies, but all I got were monosyllabic grunts. After the movie and the bus ride back, “OK, this is where I kiss you goodnight.” His cheek came pretty close to mine for a nanosecond, but that was it. I just thought he was shy, but I learned a few years later from his brother that he wanted to see what a date was like. Good thing I didn’t judge all dates by that one. We remained friends, though.

  • Tricia Ostermann says:

    I’d like to say that I’ve had a really bad date, but to be honest, in my past I’ve only ever dated people I was friends with first. At that point they knew what I was about and what we would both like, so the dates were fun.
    The only opportunity I had for a bad date was a blind date I had eight years ago. I was absolutely petrified and expected the worst. The night ended up being great. Eight years later and we are engaged to be married…so, I guess the date wasn’t so bad 😉

  • Jules says:

    The guy I was casually seeing invited me to his band’s gig, so I went to watch, paid the cover, and caught up with him when their set was over. After chatting for a bit he went to get a drink at the bar. A good while later his bandmate came by and was shocked to see me; he’d assumed it was me with whom the guy had already left. Turns out he’d gone home with another girl, since her massive boyfriend (of whom he was normally quite scared) was out of town.

  • LARRY ABRAMSKY says:

    This one is easy.

    1980s. Walking up Madison Avenue in the East 60s & 70s on our way to dinner, we passed over five high end women’s shoe stores and she didn’t stop at even one of them to check out the shoes. I immediately knew something was SERIOUSLY wrong. The ‘date’ never really even made it to the dinner…..she was having a very, very bad day.

  • Tim R. says:

    I went on a first date where we drank awful beer, watched ‘Insidious’ on Netflix and fell asleep. I think our only exchange of words was “What do you wanna watch?”

  • Karen K says:

    I had been chatting online with this guy for several months before meeting him in person. He seemed great and had a wonderful sense of humor. We went to dinner and everything was going well. At the end of the evening he invited me over to his house to see the graphics of a new video game that had just came out and I felt comfortable enough to go with him.
    As we entered the house I notice these strange little bottles EVERYWHERE. They were in the kitchen, living room, lined the stairwell and window sills. There was also an odd odor about the home. Finally I asked about the bottles. He replied “well I did tell you about my urine collection.” I have never ran so fast or so far in my life. The sad part is if I hadn’t seen the house there would have definitely been a second date. 15 years later and I’m still single….go figure.

  • Jim says:

    Of course there’s the “date” where you drive 45 minutes, meet the girl (who you had a great time with at a party the weekend before) at the restaurant, sit and talk for an hour, pay for everything, then get to drive 45 minutes back with the words “Oh, you thought this was a date? I’m sorry” echoing in your ears.

  • Stephanie C. says:

    It’s a cold and rainy Friday night.
    It’s been a long week and you’re curled up on the couch in your worn-out pajamas, hair in a messy bun, with Holiday Inn playing on the TV to cheer you up.
    Your phone beeps. You don’t recognize the number, so you ignore it.
    Minutes later your phone beeps again. It’s the same number, and they mention your name this time. You read the texts.
    “Hey…I’m on my way.”
    “Hey, Stephanie. Where am I meeting you?”
    You’re confused, but Bing Crosby is playing alone eating his turkey dinner, so you ignore it.
    Your phone rings this time.
    It’s a college friend. Pausing the movie, you begrudgingly answer.
    Your friend “reminds” you that you promised to go on a blind date tonight. You kindly remind your friend that you haven’t talked to her since college, so there’s no way you could have possibly agreed to that.
    A few minutes of arguing go by, and you learn that this guy has been driving for two hours to get here for the “date.”
    Groaning, you clamor up the stairs, slip into jeans and a sweater, shake out your hair, swipe on some makeup, and run out the door to catch the subway to the bar your friend suggested. Waiting for this random guy, you buy a pitcher of beer. You’re nursing your glass waiting for him to come in, and when he does, you suddenly feel the urge to sucker-punch your friend the next time you see her. The guy is clearly not your type, but you decide to give it a try. He awkwardly says hello, gets a glass from the bartender AND SERVES HIMSELF FROM YOUR PITCHER. You try to have a conversation, but he’s quiet and just keeps drinking your beer, refilling his glass more often than you. When he drains the pitcher, he looks at you expectantly. Raising your eyebrows, you ask “What?”
    “Aren’t you going to get us another pitcher?”
    “Um, no.”
    “Oh.”
    An awkward silence passes, and you say “Well, it was nice meeting you. I have to go” and walk out the door.

  • Joey says:

    I don’t know if it would have been a bad date or a good date. It was to my prom and it was to be our first date. I got home from work to find a message that she had a cold and could not go out. I found out it was a change I plans. I stayed home and she went to the prom with someone else that night.

  • Deborah says:

    My worst date ever started out as a great date. Not too long after I got out of college, a guy I had met in the lobby of the building where I worked asked me out to dinner. When we met at the restaurant, for once I wasn’t over- or under-dressed compared to him, conversation flowed smoothly during the meal, the food was fantastic, we even discussed continuing the evening at a nearby bar. While he was paying the bill, I excused myself to go to the ladies room, and an older woman seated a few tables away got up at the same time and entered the restroom just after I did. At the sinks she started a casual conversation that quickly shifted into increasingly prying questions about how I liked my date, what I did for a living, how I felt about marriage and children…turns out this was my date’s mother who apparently checks out all of her potential “daughters-in-law” this way…with her son’s permission! Needless to say, I headed straight for the parking lot and drove home. Had one uncomfortable elevator ride with him at work a few weeks later during which he acted as if nothing had happened, then never saw him again.

  • I met a girl for a first date at a quaint sushi place and she, naturally, was running late. She ran late for about 30 minutes, then called me to tell me she was just running late a few and would be there soon. 30 minutes later, she arrived. Now this girl looked like a supermodel, I kid you not. So technically, I didn’t mind the wait at that point. We sit down and I try to learn about her, but she literally would only give one word answers to everything. She was a chemist for a cosmetics lab, so I figured she would be smart and engaging. Nope. One. Word. Answers. I reached a point during the evening where I would start to count the amount of words she used; maybe she was on a speech limit! lol. Anyway, after many minutes of asking about her, I asked her if she wanted to learn about me. She said “NO”. She actually never ordered anything besides salad at the sushi place, saying her only non-one word utterance “I’m not hungry”. I don’t know what the story was and the meal ended. Interestingly enough, at the end of the meal, which I paid for…she gave me a huge hug and a long kiss on the lips. She never talked to me again. I will never know what happened on that date or why she acted the way she acted…maybe that’s how supermodel chemists are….

  • I met a really sweet person on line and after chatting for about a week we decided to meet. I lived quite distance and invited him for the weekend.
    When he arrived, he was about the dreariest, most boring, non-talking, clinging person I had ever met. He also insisted on kissing constantly – and he was the MESSIEST, grosses, slobberiest kisser ever.
    What was the worst part? (Besides his having no money and I had to pay for everything – including his postcards to send home to his friends?)
    It was WEEKEND date … I didn’t think he’d ever leave … even ten years later, I’m not sure he did. For all I know he’s still lurking in the hallways.
    blech.

  • Samantha O says:

    …..I once went to dinner with a friend of mine from high school. I hadn’t really been great friends with him, but we knew each other and fate brought us both to New York so we decided to meet up. I showed up at the restaurant under the impression that this was “old friends meeting for dinner”. About an hour into the night we are laughing a reminiscing, and he goes to the restroom. While he is gone I pull out my phone– its become a habit. I check my Facebook and I see in the news feed that he went from “single” to “in a relationship”. So when he gets back I ask who he is dating, with a huge smile and joy in my heart for him. I was glad he had found someone special because he told me he was looking. He says “well we are… we are dating.” And naturally he is smiling as well…. So basically what happened after that was a super awkward moment of silence. After the train was finshed moving through our tunnel of silence, I told him that I was sorry because I didn’t know that he invited me out for that reason. He apologized because he thought I had picked up on his subtext. So we paid for dinner, said our goodbyes, and I went home.

  • Christina says:

    I was in my mid-teens and a late bloomer, so I had very little weekend action. My younger sister, however, was like honey to flies. My mom felt that she was too young to date, so she commissioned me to double-date and secretly chaperone. Because no one was really interested in me, my sister and her man of the hour had to find someone. I had no interest in a blind date, but it was for the good of my little sis, right?
    They guy is ok looks-wise but I really hate this whole idea. Even if I was for it, he gives off a real sleaze vibe: black greasy hair, way over-confident for what he has to offer, and not too bright.
    We get to the movies and my sister and her date promptly head to the back of the theatre to make out. I guess my date had been given orders to leave them alone, so I was forced spend my time mid-theatre fighting off a real creeper trying to slide his hand up, up, up my thigh. We rode with my sister and her guy, I’m in a small town with no cab service, and of course I had promised my mom that I would look out for sis, so there’s no escape.
    Thankfully, the movie ends and they have to take us back home to make curfew. They pull up in the driveway, and my sister and her guy start making out in the front seat, leaving me in the backseat with a guy I now can’t stand who has ideas that I’m in the same mood as my sister. He suddenly attacks me with his tongue – like getting kissed by an excited lab puppy but without the cuteness. I don’t want to make a scene and ruin my sister’s date (though in hindsight, she really owed me at that point), and I can see the end of this nightmare since we are just a few short feet away from my front door, so I just let it happen – but I decide to be completely unresponsive in hopes that he’ll get the hint and give up. No such luck.
    When I found out later that he thought I was a prude and had no interest in seeing me again, I was overjoyed. I also let my mom know that she could take the next chaperone shift – I was done!

  • Ellen Orchid says:

    I met someone for a first date. We looked at each other, a long silent look. We both agreed – at pretty much the same moment – that we didn’t want to go on this date. We each murmured something to that effect, said “Good luck”, to each other and took off in our separate directions. No harm, no foul. Just funny.

  • David Arthur says:

    It was at the ill fated Broadway production of HARRIGAN AND HART directed by Joe Layton. My first date confessed to not feeling well, got up to exit before the intermisson to quickly get to the john, ran into Joe Layton in the lobby who scolded him for leaving early. A second later my date threw up on him.

  • Joel says:

    It was the morning after and he drove me to a Dunkin’ Donuts to get coffee. There were many spots to park in the lot but he chose the one closest to the door: the handicapped spot. I made some off-color joke about handicapped persons having all the perks in life, to which he agreed very adamantly and un-ironically. That’s when I realized that I was hanging out with someone who hated the disabled.

  • KENI FINE says:

    First date, Southern gal.

    It started with cappuccino, cold cappuccino. She said she ordered for me because I was “almost late” (I arrived 5 minutes early).

    She said she loved the view (a brick wall).

    She said she loved “the Yankees” (not the team), and had already dated several of “you people.”

    She walked backwards to the restroom, saying she never turns her back on a first date.

    She asked me if I was “sensitive,” or fun.

    She said she could kill a snake with her bare hands, if need be, and neuter a cat by herself with just a hot towel and an aluminum tube.

    She said she could see taking me to “Forbidden Broadway” (not the show).

    She was great. Possibly.

    I was scared. Definitely.

  • Natalie Randall says:

    My worst first date was with this guy I had randomly met at a bar. We went out for drinks and everything was going great. We decided to head back to my place to continue the drinks and he got us a cab home. Then he realized he left his phone at the bar, so we turned around and then came back to my place and expected me to help pay for the cab. The guy threw some money at me and then just jumped out and ran. I felt bad for te can driver, so I paid for the rest of the cab and was yelling at the guy. Since we were already at my house, I let him come in to hang. The guy was being really shady and making me mad so I asked him to leave. Well, when he left…he also left with my iPhone. So this guy stole my phone and wouldn’t give it back. I later found out he is wanted by the FBI because he is a huge druglord in NY. I guess things could have ended worse. Lol.

  • Erika Jenko says:

    I met a guy at the salad bar at work. It was the perfect ‘meet cute.’ We were instantly attracted to each other and couldn’t stop giggling and our mutual friend shared our phone numbers and we were on our first date the next evening. He had wanted to meet at a pub. I arrived at the pub only to find him drunkenly stumbling down the street with a bottle in hand. The owner of the pub encouraged him to step inside. As it turns out, he doesn’t drink and it was a bottle of rootbeer. I still don’t know why the pub was a top suggestion for this particular date. After realizing that his ‘drunken energy’ was just an exuberance for life, we made our way inside and sat at a table and tried to get to know each other. During THE BEST 1st date conservation I’ve ever had (truly connecting, more giggling, witty banter, etc), his cell rings and he asks me if he can take it. As it turns out, he was in an open relationship and it was his girlfriend. He proceeded to tell her he loves her while I sat across the table trying not to listen in. Then he proceeded to tell her that he was on a date with me. He paused the phone conversation to let me know that the girlfriend had said, ‘hi’ to me. It was the worst date I ever had. But somehow, this quirky creature and I remained friends for awhile before going our separate ways.

  • Alexandra Sanchez says:

    Exactly 5′ 10″ with perfectly tanned skin year round, and straight caramel hair that was parted on his right that seemed to blow in the wind every day after 4th period. Daniel was about 3 months single, which is a long time in teenage years. He was the guy that everyone wanted to be on a first name basis with, hangout with, and definitely date. By some miracle I had scored a date with the most eligible bachelor at my now old high school. I was floored with excitement, as any 16-year-old girl should have been. We had planned this a week ahead so all week at school I was pumped for this date. We met for lunch on a Sunday afternoon, after church of course. It was a beautiful sunny Texas day, and I had just heard a great sermon. So naturally I thought things were going to be fabulous on this date. Boy, was I wrong. A cute, casual restaurant is the setting where the awful first date in the history of worst first dates played out. As I approached the front of the restaurant, I saw him at the door waiting in what I thought was his glory and I said, “Hey Daniel. Are you hungry?” I couldn’t believe I just asked him if he was hungry. My inner conscience was talking to me, saying, “Of course he is hungry that’s why we are at a restaurant crazy!” I am trying to stay calm and just repeat to myself “One silly question, whatever, carry on.” He didn’t care about the question; he seemed to actually care less about anything I said as we waited to be greeted by our server. But I brushed it off because this was Daniel. THE Daniel whom I had always wanted to go out with. The waitress comes up to take our drink order and who is it but his obsessive ex-girlfriend- I didn’t pick the restaurant so that was on him. I had to sit through her questioning him about what we were doing eating together, and why he didn’t call her back last night, and why he cut his hair a different way because it was “so much better looking when we were going out.” Can you say awkward sauce! Anyways, after that round of jeopardy she brought our drinks, and she decided that it would be a good idea to take out her frustration and jealously on me by pouring my drink on my head from behind. I was beyond mortified. I thought I would get some help from “my date”- oh no, he sat back and laughed– Laughed! What kind of person lets this happen to someone they are out with? Here I am out with who I though was a great guy, who was to be the most eligible bachelor in my high school class, and he does nothing but laugh. The ex-girlfriend shortly became his unemployed girlfriend. I was embarrassed for about a week, but I had great friends and school who stood behind me. Instead of the guy people yearned to know, Daniel soon became the guy who laughs at people in need. I ended up never talking to him, and stopped looking for him after 4th period. I did get a year of free meals at this restaurant because of that incident, so there was one positive. I now understand how ridiculous this whole date was. I thought I knew someone who I had never gotten to know, and thought I messed up the date my “silly question”. I thought all hope was lost, but it was never there to begin with, he still had feelings for this crazy girl and I am glad they are still together 3 years later. In my short 18 years of life I have been on bad first dates, but this one definitely takes the cake.

  • He took me to see the movie 2012 (the one about the Apocalypse) and I left the theater crying because I was so upset by it. When I was drying my tears in the lobby an usher walked by and looked at me and said, “You know, it’s only fictional…”

  • Carey says:

    I couldn’t have been older than 12 or 13. A boy I had seen around from a mega-church we both went to had been begging me to be his girlfriend for weeks. I hardly knew the kid, I didn’t like him, and I didn’t understand why he liked me (a shy, awkward girl at the time). Adding to that, he was the friend of the quirky, sweet guy I had secretly loved for months. All things considered, I decided to go out with him to get him off my back. We met at an arcade, we may have played a few games, but he was a little cocky and something else about him was making me uneasy. We sit down, and he proceeds to talk about himself for at least 30 minutes. When I tried to get in a word or two, he quickly swept it aside and kept on telling me about the saga of his life.

    He stops and pulls out of his pocket a ripped-up dollar bill. He says, “I saw this on the bus, and I thought about you. I wanted to give these pieces to you.” And then–
    “I’m so excited you went out with me. I told my best friend I liked you, and he said you’d never say yes, but you said yes and you’ve made me so happy. So I thank you.”
    Not even a second later comes Act 2 of this kid’s life story. After a few minutes, timid me broke out and said, “I don’t think we should be boyfriend and girlfriend anymore. I don’t like this”. He was visibly hurt and protested a little, but he seemed cool after a few minutes. I couldn’t believe that after months of saying no, it took me to go on that date in order for him to get it. I left overjoyed!

    And I ended up dating his friend, whom I had secretly loved, for three sweet years.

  • Kasey Graham says:

    In the first few minutes of the date, he let me know that he worked as a mortician. Not bad – I could handle that. After a pretty successful date, date he invited me back to his place. It was a funeral parlor. He lived there. I cabbed home.

  • Allison DeLuca says:

    I once went on a group date with my best friend, her boyfriend, the guy she was trying to set me up with and another one of their friends. It went well but there was no spark… for me that is! A few weeks later I found out my best friend had dumped her boyfriend and was dating thr guy she tried to set me up with! Needless to say, I never asked her to set me up in a date again.

  • Rebecca says:

    We had planned all week that on Friday, we would go to the Cheesecake Factory and he would drive since I didn’t have a car on campus. But it was lightly drizzling, so clearly, driving 30 minutes away would be drastically terrible. I settled for the nearby restaurant located below a hotel known best for their boneless chicken wings. Unfortunately there is also absolutely no parking available except for the “20 minute parking” metered parking. I was so lucky that I got to step out of the dinner every 20 minutes to put my money in the meter for his car in the rain. When I wasn’t filling the meter, I quietly listened to him complain about school and classes, and his mother. It was the least I could do considering our meal was so expensive and $20 total.

  • Jeryl M. says:

    I went on this date with this guy who made me pay for my own movie ticket because he had paid for my dinner. He wasn’t exactly poor either. He worked as a lawyer.

  • Alexa says:

    I met a guy years ago in a bar and thought we had friends in common. We became facebook friends and three years later when I moved to NYC he asked me out. Our plan was to walk along the Highline and, if things were going well, we’d grab a bite to eat. I waited 30 minutes on the 30th street end, watching a beautiful sunset alone with a bunch of couples who’d had the same romantic idea and reading his repeated apology texts that he’d be there in a minute. When he finally showed up, he thrust a Toys R Us bag into my hands and said “here”. I opened it and inside was an Anakin Skywalker action figure, a first date gift. Apparently he’d gone to two different stores looking for Darth Vader because I’d mentioned something about James Earl Jones on the phone when we were setting up the date. I barely remembered saying it, but it was a follow up to the fact that he’d used a Mike Tyson voice to call me and set up the date. We walked around and he talked and talked and talked…and I listened. He told me how he wasn’t welcome anymore in my best friend’s family’s bar (where we’d met) because he did something creepy to one of the bartenders (those friends I thought we had in common hated him). Around 10 pm I was starving, so when he suggested dinner I agreed. We went to Republic in Union Square where he confessed to not knowing how to use chopsticks. That’s fine, but at 30-something, he wasn’t that great with a fork either. When he noticed me watching him eat, he laughed and said, “I know, I never really learned how to hold a fork.” WTF?!? He also confessed that he didn’t really eat, just drank coffee so the fork thing wasn’t that relevant to him. As we walked into a movie, the only way I thought I could stop listening to his creepy stories, I was pulling up the information on the kiosk machines and he hip checked me across the theater so he could pay for the movie. Seriously knocked me over. He could have just asked and I would have let him pay. I have no idea why I stayed as long as I did, but the random ending is that he bought us tickets to Once without checking with me (for the second date, I guess) and then freaked himself out about going with me, faked an illness and gave them to me to bring a friend. I still have the Anakin Skywalker action figure. It’s in a bag with some other weird date gifts…like the peanut butter and jelly change purse from the guy who ducked and ran away from a bird. (Don’t ask!)

  • A. Scott Falk says:

    My worst date was a second date. I was supposed to meet a young obstetrics resident at Caroline’s Comedy Club for an evening out together. It was a rainy night (total downpour); he was about an hour late, which caused us to miss the first portion of the show; and then he decided after about 15 minutes (and the full cost of a comedy set with a two-drink minimum), he decided we should leave the club.

    He didn’t pick up the tab for me, despite making me miss the beginning and the end of the set, and then the kicker: His shoes had spatters of blood on them (presumably from the delivery room). Truly a lovely night, and the final date for the two of us.

  • Karen C. says:

    In all serious-ness I am almost 30 and have no first date story to share because I have never been on a first date, even as a teenager, so perhaps this show could give me a comical look at what could go wrong.

  • Claudia says:

    Luckily I haven’t had any first date horror stories, but my worst date was with a guy at the accounting firm I was temping for right after college. He asked if I wanted to get lunch with him and I said yes. Our entire conversation the entire time revolved around the food we were eating. It was delicious, but I was bored out of my mind.

    The funny part was, I called my college roommate that night. She and I had a running joke about how our love lives were cosmically connected, that neither of us could be in a relationship at the same time. She was living in California with her boyfriend at the time, and I jokingly asked her if they had a fight or anything. She paused and asked me how I knew that. I told her I was joking, because I had a date that day, so I figured something had to go wrong on her end! We both still laugh about that.

  • Christine Garfinkel says:

    I was 25 years old and went on a blind date through a dating service. Only names and emails were exchanged in advance (no pictures or speaking). I met him at a public place, a bar, for a drink. To say he was a little odd doesn’t begin to cover it. He was dressed like he was going to a high school prom and he gave me a flower wrist corsage when I arrived. I was totally embarrassed and made an excuse, a very short time later, that I needed to leave and never contacted him again.

  • Mine goes way back to 1977. A girl who had been flirting with me won two tickets from a radio station to the opening night of some new movie called “Star Wars” – the South Florida premiere showing! Sounded interesting and free tickets. We planned to go out to dinner after but we shared a bottle of Mateus wine (hey, it was the 70’s and all I could afford!). Bad idea, she got very tipsy and loud. We had assigned seats in a packed movie theatre and before the movie started she insisted she had to go the bath room much to the relief of the annoyed people around us. I went with her to the lobby and when we finally returned, tripped over people getting to our seats there were two robots on the screen in some desert. We had entirely missed the start of the film and she was loudly confused, asking people around what we had missed and why these two robots were wandering in a desert in a space film?

    I announced now that I had to go to he bathroom and dragged her from the theater before a riot ensued and we went straight out to dinner. She never stopped carping about the “silly movie” the entire night and though I gave it several more tries it never clicked, though I did go back to see Star Wars. Alone. Pretty good movie, regardless what she thought. As I’ve happily grown older, I’ve given up Mateus. Good choice.

  • Andrea H says:

    My worst first date was with someone I met online in Orlando. We had been talking online and decided to meet up but the only free day for both of us was valentines day. We thought, ‘why not’ and arranged to walk around a town and get dinner somewhere. Now, online, he said he was tall and I’m 5’9 so I was hoping for like 6’0 or something. He showed up and he was 6’7. I can’t even remember where I got up to when staying next to him. We walked around and found this Turkish place that we thought looked alright. We sat down and the waiter suggested the valentine days special for two for $100. The guy decided, ‘yeah. Let’s go for it.’ It was awkward all through the date and afterwards when he tried to hug me. I got back to my car and 5 minutes later got a text from him saying he would love to see me again. I had to reply no; that it just didn’t work out. Needless to say, I won’t go out on a first date on valentines day ever again.

  • I love reading Ken’s blog, and I have to say, it’s clear he’s got one amazing bunch of characters who read him, too. These stories are hilarious. Thank you to all who were brave enough to submit your dating tales of terror. You made my day.

  • sharon says:

    Date never showed up. meeting place was a starbucks in Brooklyn Heights. I was left holding my latte. Happened a second time with another date at a different place. Two Standups…

  • Jen says:

    Well,
    I was asked out by my prom date as a courtesy before we went to the junior prom together. We drove around 20 miles to get to the nearest Sonic, he ordered for me, and we ate in silence in his car, before he immediately drove me home. Needless to say, the prom wasn’t any more fun than the first date was and I haven’t been back to a Sonic since.

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