The Sunday Giveaway: Two tickets to Application Pending Off Broadway!

About ten years ago, before I was even thinking about getting married, my neighbor gave me some very important advice.  He stopped me on the elevator one morning, with his hand wrapped around his young daughters as they began the trek to school . . . “Never sell your apartment, Ken.”

“Why?” I wondered.  Was it the view?  Was it the circular driveway?  Was it our awesome doormen James and Juandy?

“This apartment is zoned for PS 199 – one of the really good public schools in the city.  So if you ever have a kid, you won’t have to go through that application madness.”

Ever since then I’ve been frightened about the high stakes world of private school admissions in New York City.  And, whenever there is something high stakes, it means it will also make great drama.

First came a documentary called Nursery University (which features a couple of cameos of folks from the Broadway world, actually) and now comes a brand new Off Broadway play.

It’s called Application Pending and it starts performances on January 26th at The Westside Theater.

And we’ve got two tickets to giveaway!  (And if you’re a parent and you’re paying private school tuition prices, then the freebies will come in handy!)

Here’s how you win:

Imagine you are the admissions officer at the most prestigious school in the city nation world.  Through the powers of time travel and fertility drugs, three special students are up for the final slot in the next school year.  They are:

1 – The child of Bill/Hillary Clinton (Yep, somehow he and Hil popped out another one)

2 – The child of Bill/Melinda Gates

3 – The child of Mother Teresa/???.

Which one would you admit and why?  Comment below your answer and you could win admission to Application Pending. 


(Got a comment? I love ‘em, so comment below! Email Subscribers, click here then scroll down to say what’s on your mind!)

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  • Tanya Perez says:

    That’s easy: #3 Mother Thersea and Jesus. Think of the press! Lines out the door and checkbooks will be wide open for infinity. Prizes awarded. Modern miracles will be popping out of the classroom from this kid. Recess will be laps of mindful meditation and his/her holiday pagent will include an a guest star appearance of JC himself. Sign this kid up now!

  • Brian says:

    Easy – Bill and Melinda’s child gets in. With thier dedication to charilty work they would likely also pay for other underpriviliged children to atttend. This would give the school a diverse student population which is critical to learning about the world.

  • Fern says:

    Mother Theresa. The world needs more kindness, connectedness, and beautiful inspirational souls. Considering how schools are breeding grounds for where insecurities and cruelty begin (MCC Theater’s Punk Rock anyone?), any child raised by Mother Theresa (with her genes no less! No nature/nurture uncertainties here!) would have the potential to create a ripple effect of better human beings starting from youth onward and outward.

  • Sarah M. Chichester says:

    Without a doubt it needs to be #1- Bill and Hillary. I feel both have proven to be strong leaders in making our world a better place. With parents so involved with our society and country, it opens up more possibilities for their child to learn more about our world and become more involved at a younger age. Plus having a child at their age the generation gap would also be an interesting thing to experience from the educator standpoint.

  • Adam Lawrence says:

    Admit the Gates child but jack up the prices?

  • This is the old “no brainer:” Mother Teresa’s kid. The prize goes to Tanya (above); she’s said it all. All she left out, perhaps, is this could be the Second Coming.

  • Matthew Lynn says:

    Mother Theresa’s child for two reasons. One being that The Gates and Clinton children will be successful because of their wealth and family name, this school isn’t going to make the difference, they’re gonna turn out all right. The other reason being I think the Catholic Church would temporarily adopt some Jewish guilt to throw at me if word ever got out I rejected her child’s application.

  • Kathleen Smith says:

    I would admit the child of Mother Theresa, even though from the reports I heard she would have been tough to deal with. She wanted what she wanted and generally got it. If you would not of could not give it to her,s he was on to the next possible person. Just think of the publicity, not only Mother Theresa’s child, but a would know nun’s child. As for Bill and Hillary, there are other children of major democratic politicains who would want to send their children to the school. Would you want to deal with the Secret Service also? They are ordinary people. As for Bill and Melinda Gates, billionaires are great but would they actually respond to fund raising efforts? Their focus is elsewhere.

  • Mother Theresa…and why? we would never be sure who besotted her and where the sperm originated giving an air of excitement and adventure to the mysterious offspring who could bring all sorts of new and interesting ideas to the school, fellow students and New York!

  • Sue says:

    I would admit the child who was the brightest (based on fair and unbiased tests, of course) and who was not obnoxious. To heck with who the parents are. I would only evaluate the children.

  • Carl says:

    Clinton kid.

    Bill and Melinda give their money to bigger causes than private schools. Nix nix.

    Mother Theresa means you’d have to Purell all the furniture after PA meetings lest everyone get leprosy. Nix nix.

    P.S. I went to THAT school you’re referring to (not PS 199).

  • David Rigano says:

    Mother Theresa brings either scandal or miracles. No such thing as bad publicity!

  • Candace says:

    I would pick the Gates kid, hands down. Both parents are super-smart AND entrepreneurial AND generous, so this smart kid could potentially invent devices or come up with ideas that would benefit ALL mankind!

  • Bryan Austermann says:

    They are all high profile families so like… that can’t really play a factor here. I would have to admit whatever child was the most academically qualified. Who cares who their parents are if they are an idiot? Or if they have money. Education should be awarded to those who want and deserve it, not just cuz they have an endless wallet or fancypants relatives.

  • Since I’m in the admissions officer I can make exceptions to the rules. I’d admit all three. One for the notoriety, one for the fortune, one for the moral standing. I’ll let you judge which one is which.

  • Wilma says:

    Bill and Melinda Gates. Comes from a brilliant gene pool and a generous, philanthropic family that values education.

  • Katherine says:

    Have Bill/Hillary and Bill/Melinda to build another wing onto the school – then all 3 kids are in, plus many more 🙂




  • Melissa says:

    I was going to reply, but these are all so good and made me laugh, that I will defer!

  • Carl Hugh Paiva says:

    Mother Theresa for two reasons:

    Second Immaculate Conception but even better as Mother Theresa is dead!

    The child will be angelic…a plus for any school.

  • Jeryl Marcus says:

    The child of Mother Theresa because that child is a miracle so only good things can come of admitting him or her to the school.

  • Karl says:

    The child of Mother Theresa because it would be gracious and devote his/her life to others (hopefully!)

  • Cara says:

    The Gates child – this child has the genes to hypothetically benefit from a above par education.

  • Cindy s. says:

    Give a brief lesson, and then have the kids do an improv jam and observe- who is using “yes, and?” Who is making it all about them? As they each come from prominent family backgrounds, this would be a great way to observe who would be a team player and add value to the school, not just a recognizable name.

  • Susan says:

    The Gates kid. S/he is not going to bring the publicity and paparazzi the other two would and my school does not need more publicity, but can always use more parent donations from educationally minded parents like bill and Melinda.

  • EllenFD says:

    I’d ask each kid, “What is the quickest way to achieve world peace?” The one with the most implausible, pie-in-the-sky answer would likely be Mother Theresa’s miracle child. (Yes, she went swimming one day in the Vatican pool, and ….) Why that kid? Because I like to bet on dreamers.

  • All other things being equal (you haven’t said anything about the student’s skills, talents, character, etc.), Bill & Melinda Gates’ kid. Because once they love the school (I’m assuming these people want in because the school itself is so excellent), they may be moved to create endowments and scholarships that will enable deserving, talented, bright children from less monied/famous backgrounds to attend. Win/Win.

  • fran says:

    Immediate reaction: Mother Theresa’s child. This is assuming they are all equally bright and gifted. The Clintons and Gates can buy their child in; let’s help the child whose mother helps the world.

  • Queerbec says:

    Bill and Melinda’s pride and joy. The Gates have indicated that they do not plan to leave the majority of their fortune to their children so they are we expect creating highly motivated offspring who will welcome challenge, be willing to work hard and add to the overall learning environment for the other students. Because of the Gates’s interest in early childhood education, they may be more likely to contribute to the school and also be willing to enter into collaborative beta testing of some innovations in education which could benefit the students and further the reputation of the school. Plus the Gates’s reputation as intelligent experts in technology, science and math would enhance the school’s reputation in those areas even if by association alone. Pity if the poor child turned out to be a—how can I properly put it–theater major!

  • Alexa B. says:

    What a bizarre question!

    Definitely Mother Theresa. That child has seen a lot…

  • Megan says:

    I would have to admit the child of Mother Theresa. I feel like her child would be the most selfless and kind hearted student and would be a gem to have in the classroom, to not only be a good role model for other students, but to have an inquisitive mind to spur inquiry in the classroom. .

  • Kyrsten Louchen says:

    I would give it to the child of Mother Theresa, because the others actually have children and I am not impressed. Besides if it’s Mother Theresa’s child then it was an immaculate conception, having the second coming of jesus in your graduating class would do wonders for getting more donations for your school.

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