Ok, quick tell me what this actual sign found in China is trying to say:
I like your smile, but unlike you put your shoes on my face.
Got a guess? The answer is . .
Keep off the grass.
And that's Chinglish!
I couldn't think of two more divergent cultures than Chinese and American. Which is exactly why it's the perfect subject for a play. Comedy is born in that kind of contrast, and there's no better writer to tackle it than Tony Winner David Henry Hwang.
And tackle it he did. After a super sold-out and extended run at The Goodman Theatre in Chi-town, where it got these kind of reviews, Chinglish starts previews on Broadway this week.
And yes, I am one of the Producers.
And yes, I have two tickets to give away!
Here's how it'll work. I'm going to give you a Chinglish expression. You tell me what you think it means. No gheating (google cheating). Ok?
Here goes!
Penetration will be dealt with painfully.
Translate! (Then go see Chinglish on Broadway!)
(Got a comment? I love 'em, so comment below! Email subscribers, click here, then scroll down, to say what's on your mind!)
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83 Responses to The Sunday Giveaway: 2 Tickets to Chinglish on Broadway!
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trespassers will be shot!
I so want to see this show…love Leigh Silverman’s directing style!
Translation: do not enter!
No breaking and entering!
S. Allison got to it first: Trespassers Will Be Shot
My daughter is off limits, young man.
i agree with S. Allison, trespassers will be shot… but have you ever seen the sign that says Trespassers Will be Shot, Survivors will be shot again.
haha that just reminded me of that…
Hmmmm… I like “Trespassers will be shot,” but how about this instead;
No diving.
Painful penetration indeed!
Don’t think they will ever say “shoot you” in the sign. So how about this “Trespassing is forbidden, or else you will face serious consequences”.
Violators will be prosecuted.
My many trips to China over the last decade have taught me:
1) how to say “I’m vegetarian” and
2) never rely on interpreters
No trespassing-violators will face consequences
Trespassers will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law.
Jaywalkers will be prosecuted.
Trespassers will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law…
Trespassers will be mutilated.
Shoplifters will be prosecuted.
Trespassers will be shot on sight–likley where the sun doesn’t shine!
Violators will be prosecuted.
Well I am late to the party, but I also think it must mean that trepassers will be prosecuted.
Do not enter!
Break open the fortune cookies before the chow mein is done, and someone will play “chopsticks” on your head!
Trespassers will be shot on sight.
Or… I want to see this show so please let me win.
Restricted Area
Such a great choice of words….naughty naughty Mr. Davenport!
But maybe you were trying to say “Violators will be persecuted” in Chinglish?
Probably was written hundreds of years ago as a warning to those settlers who tried to enter and conquer the country: Don’t try to penetrate (overtake) our lands. China wanted to remain independent and didn’t want to be taken over by settlers.
No Trespassing
Enter at your own risk!
Get my daughter pregnant, bozo, and no one will ever find your carcass.
Bottom Slider = A street walker. (Queen’s English)
Dose House = A place to sleep for a night. (Circa 1880′s)
Two-Fingers = A unit of measure. (Before the tumbler)
“Whitechapel” ©
The Life & Times
of:
‘Jack The Ripper’
A Musical Love Story! ™
http://www.myspace.com/jacktheripperwhitechapel1888
Do not enter!
Um…Go Fuck Yourself?
Thieves will be shot.
In case of fire, break glass gently!!!
Trespassers will be punished.
Since “Trespassers will be prosecuted” has already been put forth, how about: “Enter at your own risk!”?
No parking zone. Violators will be towed at owners’ expense.
Oops. That’s here, too.
it clearly means: “Stop, in the name of love, before I break your heart!”
Pool drained. Dive at your own risk.
I’m going to guess assimilation, particularly as it applies to interracial marriage. just guess though.
I’m thinking it might be, “Trespassers will be shot on sight!”
Or maybe, “beware of ninjas”?
Give my regards to Broadway!
(oh well, it’s a long shot…)
I agree with Ms. Molina – Violators will be prosecuted is what I think. That or Resistance if Futile and you will be assimilated.
Intruders will face harsh punishment.
Trespassers will be shot
You are in Arizona, if you don’t have the correct paperwork we will jail you!
Do not enter?
Do not eat! or Food Expires By…
Something along those lines
Beware of Dog
If you screw me, I’ll kill you.
OOOoooooo guuuuuuurrrlll, if you come any where near meeee i’m gona have to open up a can….. oh no she didn’t!!!!!!!! Hold my earings!!!
No Parking
Enter at your own risk.
Do not enter through the back door
Do Not Enter. Violators will be Violated.
Wrong way.
Violators Will Be Prosecuted.
What do you do if there are multiple entries? I see other people thought the same as me. Of course I could be wrong…
So I offer a Chinglish riddle back to you (or anyone): When they first introduced this product to China back in the 70′s, it wasn’t selling. They finally looked at the literal translation of the product’s slogan and were shocked to realize why it wasn’t selling, because the translation was “Bring Dead Ancestors Back To Life”. What is the product and the slogan in English?
(I think this is truly hilarious.) Anyone? I’ll post the answer on Thursday…
No trespassing.
Keep fingers out of the machine.
Trespassers will be prosecuted.
Use lube!
No trespassing!
Do not enter.
Violators will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law.
i’d guess “trespassers will be prosecuted,” but i’d like this much more if it was “no sex before marriage.”
Hey kids, always wear a condom (shows picture of a baby).
No trespassing for sure.,
It really sucks when a pen bleeds in your pocket
Trespassers will be shot!
Trespassers will be prosecuted.
Private convent.
If you enter, you will be shot.
Violators will be prosecuted
Enter at Your Own Risk
How about some Godspell-inspired ones?
Reverse yourself if you are a man.
You be awake for path of the big guy.
Every driver do as well as you can.
If your show sells more tickets than ours, we will put pebbles in all of the audience members seats so that they squirm through your performance.
Trespassers will be prosecuted.
Or…
Use a condom.
NO MENUS!
seriously, probably something like “trespassers will be prosecuted”
Trespassing punishable by law.
Trespassers will be punished!
Rapists will be severely punished.
Do not enter.
and to Sarah Doudna: “Coke Adds Life.”
P.S. My Dad’s birthday was October 12th, 1929 and he totally wanted me to be a lawyer.
Private property. Keep out.
No trespassing. Violators will be prosecuted.
When I was a little kid, I always confused prosecuted and persecuted. Either way, I made sure to “Keep Out.”
Save the Pandas